YKS results, which university candidates are eagerly waiting for, have been announced. Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan reminds that the two most important decisions in a person's life are the choice of marriage and profession, and points out that it is necessary to think multidimensionally in order to make the right decision. Stating that the decisions made can be very difficult to make up later, Tarhan recommends swot analysis in choosing a profession to determine the strengths and weaknesses of children.
The results of YKS, an important milestone for university candidates, have been announced. Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan gave very important advice to the candidates who will make choices on their university journey.
Children are worried about the right choice
Stating that there are two important decisions and turning points in human life, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "One of them is marriage and the other is choosing a profession. In order to make the right decision in both of these decisions, the person needs to think broadly and succeed in multidimensional thinking because it is difficult to make up for the decision made later. Career choice gains importance especially in high school and during the university selection period. Students are worried about how to make the right career decision."
How do parents influence preferences?
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the role of parents is very important in choosing a profession and continued his words as follows:
"There are various preference techniques. How can we ensure that a person is both successful and happy when choosing a profession? We emphasize on this issue. Parents want their children to be smart, hardworking and successful, but are these enough? You see that the child has all three of these qualities, he has become a good chemical engineer, but he is ambitious and his social success is weak. For example, he uses wrong methods to produce synthetic marijuana, then he gets caught and goes to prison. When we look at it, he is smart, successful and hardworking, but he cannot be happy. That's why we need to raise good people in the first place. In this regard, we need to act with four parameters, not three. When we cannot teach being a good person as an ego ideal, the child may succumb to various pleasure traps such as greed, insatiability and human weaknesses."
Children should be given SWOT analysis
Pointing out that parents should conduct a SWOT Analysis for their children when choosing a profession, Tarhan said, "What may be threatening and harmful for the child, strengths and weaknesses should be determined. Even if the child is very successful in the social field or in mathematics, parents intervene too much in their children's career choices according to their own ideas. They treat their children like objects, like taking a kitten and putting it here and there. They act with a sense of omnipotence and omnipotence, which is called the God complex in psychology. Like stealing the role of God, parents see themselves as so high and decisive that they think they can decide even the death of the child. Some parents think that I can decide over my child and they try to place their children as if they were placing objects. Parents make this mistake a lot."
The domineering approach can lose the child
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that parents have good intentions such as 'I failed, let my child succeed', but this situation may have drawbacks and continued his words as follows:
"In this situation, children develop a reverse identity against their parents. This is the age of freedom. To approach the child in a domineering way is to lose the child. Here, parents have the duty of warning. It is necessary to guide the child without eroding the role of motherhood and fatherhood. Approaching the child in a domineering manner means taking full responsibility for the child. A young man studying Mechanical Engineering in the 4th grade dropped out of school and his parents panicked. The child did not want to study that department and started saying no to his parents. It is important to be successful and happy in one's profession, but it is also important to be willing. Being forced to go to the workplace does not give pleasure. It is necessary to tell the child the pros and cons. Parents need to be taught to find common ground, and this can be done by talking."
Should the child have priority at the time of choice?
Stating that it would be correct for parents to speak in 'I' language, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Speaking in 'you' language may develop a reaction in the child. He should offer an opinion that I think it should be like this. The mother, father and child should decide by mutual agreement, but if the child is undecided, parents can guide. If the child is decisive, the parents should express their opinion with their reasons and leave the choice to the child. Children also have the right to say no to their parents' ideas. When parents interfere in the choice, the child blames them for every negative event. The role of parents is more important than school and career."
They can apply Career Test
Stating that a career test can be applied to evaluate the mental and physical development of the child, Tarhan said, "There is a career test application on Üsküdar University candidate web page, anyone can do it. It gives us the result of which field the person is better in. It allows the person to discover themselves in the main occupational categories. The results of the career test enable the person to be happier in a sense and to focus on the field they want. In life, it is not those who are successful, but those who are compatible who succeed. Allah gives the rewards of success to those who endure. It is also important to know one's talents and social skills. If the person analyzes himself/herself with the test, he/she can turn to a field according to the result."
The child should have an ego ideal in life
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that there are not many families in Turkey with a passive approach and continued his words as follows:
"Some parents cannot balance between freedom and responsibility. Saying that we leave them free and not giving them responsibility are two different things. The child needs to have an ego ideal in life. The role of third parties is very important until the end of adolescence. Until the age of 18, parents are the natural guardians of the child. Until the age of 18, children are materially and morally under the responsibility of their parents. Children are ours but they are not our limbs. We should also consider their psychological state. Children think in the short term, while parents think in the medium and long term, so their advice is also very important."
Plans B and C should be made against failure
Stating that YKS is one of the steps to success in life, Tarhan said, "If a person fails in this exam, he/she should make plans B and C. These exams should not be interpreted as the end of the world. Candidates need to constantly draw new paths for themselves. They should definitely not write the department they will not study for someone else's sake. Maybe they will win, but they will either not be able to study or they will have a very difficult time while studying."
