The use of social media, which is becoming more widespread day by day, leads to many problems ranging from mental illnesses to the breakdown of families if not managed properly. People who feel lonely turn to these channels for social support, causing their real-life relationships to worsen.Stating that social media is an element that reduces the communication within the family and the sharing of spouses with each other by gathering all the attention and attention of the person on himself, experts underline that social networks also frequently lead to situations such as abuse and extramarital affairs.
Clinical Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy from Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital made important evaluations about the use of social media.
"Nowadays, many people use social networks for purposes such as meeting their friends, looking at their friends' photos and messages, sending and receiving messages, having fun, utilizing their free time, accessing information, and following the agenda. Social networks have become the sole tool for purposes such as spending leisure time, entertainment, chatting, exchanging information, and following the agenda." said Çiğdem Demirsoy,
"Just like television and computers, social media and social networks are a factor that reduces communication within the family and the sharing of spouses with each other by gathering all the attention and attention of the person on themselves, and they have addictive features in the person."
Excessive use of social media leads to mood disorders
Stating that spending time on e-commerce sites and internet shopping has recently been added to social media addiction, Demirsoy said, "Like alcohol-substance addiction, addictions that develop as a result of excessive and continuous use of the internet and social media can lead to various adaptation problems as well as problems such as mood disorders and perception disorders. When addiction develops, just like in substance addicts, tolerance develops, the dose of use gradually increases, withdrawal is felt when it is unreachable, the person becomes tense and irritable, and he/she engages in constant search behavior for the object of addiction. For this reason, we can easily say that the use of technology, especially the use of social media to this extent, negatively affects the time spent together in the family and gradually reduces the sharing between spouses and damages marriage and family life."
An average of 3 hours a day is spent on social media
"Research shows that users spend an average of 1-3 hours a day on these social networks," Çiğdem Demirsoy said:
"This means that this much time is lost every day from the time that should be allocated for family interaction with spouses and children. Apart from parents' work, responsibilities and children's time at school, this is a very serious amount of time if you deduct the time that should be spent together as a family in the evenings, especially if you live in a big city, and the time spent for transportation home. The bonds between people can only be strengthened through positive sharing. Research shows that not enough time is allocated to strengthening the bonds within the family.
Family relationships play a big role in addiction
When communication and sharing between spouses decreases, ties weaken, problems encountered in the natural flow of life remain unsolved and gradual distancing and detachment become inevitable. If instead of spending time with each other and having fun together, spouses spend more time on separate social networks than they do together, then there is a problem. The architect of the family is the parents, and parents need to be role models for children and young people that not everything is about the internet and social media. A study was conducted with adolescents with internet addiction and it was found that those who had improved relationships with family members had a decrease in their addiction. This means that satisfying spiritual needs and establishing close relationships within the family have a reducing effect on addiction."
Disconnection between spouses leads to addiction
Expert Clinical Psychologist Çiğdem Demirsoy said, "People need people around them who they can trust, who care about them and care about them. "Attachment", that is, sharing one's life with someone with whom one has a close relationship and communication, and "belonging", that is, feeling oneself as part of a group, are two basic needs of human beings", she said, adding that situations where there is no or insufficient social support in this way have a negative impact on people's mental state and lead to depression.
"If there is a disconnection in intra-family relations and between spouses, the fact that these needs are not met increases the susceptibility to internet and social network use and addiction," Demirsoy said, adding, "The individual who feels lonely, whose relationship with his/her spouse, family is disconnected, who has a sense of loneliness or depression turns to these channels for social support, but this time it leads to a worsening of interpersonal relationships in real life."
Social media addiction shakes the trust between spouses
"The damage of social networks to the individual's self, family and marital life is not limited to stealing the allocated time. Friendships that start in the virtual environment can progress rapidly, as a result, encountering undesirable situations, being abused, experiencing extramarital affairs and trust problems in the marital relationship have become common situations that we frequently encounter." Demirsoy said,
"Trust is a fundamental element of a relationship, and when a spouse's attention is directed towards another person, even if it is virtual and not physical, it is a situation that shakes the foundation of trust in the marriage. It is only possible to stop a habitual behavior by one's own will; it is useless for someone else to tell you not to do it or to threaten you. In cases such as addiction, losses are not enough to stop the person's habit, if the problem is of such a dimension, it is necessary to get professional support for it."
"You should be in open communication with your spouse"
Çiğdem Demirsoy said, "Internet and social networks are now a part of our day. We cannot say 'these are bad, they should not be used'. The important thing is how it is used. If they are used excessively, if they take up time that should be reserved for spouse and family, if they are used to cover other deficiencies in one's life, such as emotional disconnection between spouses, lack of sharing, etc., and if they are turned to them in order to close other deficiencies in one's life, for example, emotional disconnection between spouses, lack of sharing, etc., then they are harmful," she said, and listed the situations that may be caused by excessive use of social media and what should be done as follows:
1. "If there is no open communication between spouses, an environment of trust cannot be created,
2. If your partner keeps his/her social relationships secret from you, there may be some conflicts and disagreements at the root of this,
3. You should have open communication with your partner. Trust cannot be built if there is no open communication between spouses and if there are pressures and restrictions,
4. Insecurity or accusatory and restrictive attitudes cause him/her to shut down even more and the relationship becomes distant,
5. You should turn your attention and attention to pursuits that make you feel good and strong, rather than following your partner,
6. You should try to develop the friendship element in your relationship with your partner and increase the number of shared activities and pleasant times together."
