Having said "hello" to school after a long vacation, students are now trying to adapt to a new semester. Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan gives important advice to families to overcome this period in a healthy way. Pointing out that children who will meet school for the first time experience fear because they leave their homes where they feel the safest, Tarhan points to the effect of maternal anxiety in the formation of school phobia. Stating that the child should grow up in a home with rules, Tarhan underlines that the period between the ages of 0-3 is very important for the development of the child.
Üsküdar University Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made evaluations on how the adaptation process should be overcome in these days when students who have left behind a long summer vacation start new education.
Stating that this period has different meanings for each age group, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the situation is slightly different for children going to school for the first time, and that most of the children feel like they are on a foreign planet.
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that school phobia, which is common in children who are new to school, mostly occurs in children whose mothers are anxious, and said the following:
"It is useful to emphasize children starting school for the first time; primary school or kindergarten. It means the child's first departure from his/her mother and home environment. At school, the child suddenly enters a more social environment. Even if most children go to kindergarten in big cities and pass the preparatory period, many children in Anatolia start kindergarten or primary school all at once. What is this like in a child's world? We need to think about this. When a child leaves home, an environment where they play and spend time in comfort, and suddenly goes to school, they feel like they are on a foreign planet. Different people, different people. The mother he feels safe with is not there. The child feels fear in this situation. This is called school phobia. According to researches, school phobia occurs mostly in people whose mothers are anxious."
School feels safe if the mother is happy and comfortable
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that the determined attitude of the mother is important in combating school phobia and said, "When the child goes to school, he looks at his mother's face. He looks at her body language. If the mother is happy and comfortable, he thinks it is a safe place. He makes a comparison in his head. But if the mother is anxious, if she thinks 'I wonder if I should stay with her, if she can stay alone', the child understands this and that anxiety is passed on to the child. The child cannot embrace school. School phobia develops. The mother has to wait at school with the child. Here the mother needs to show a determined attitude. The mother needs to tell her child, "You have to learn this in life, you have to go to school." The mother should prepare the child mentally for school. The mother should control the child's fine motor development. It is up to the mother to envision school as a safe environment in the child's world."
Family, teacher and school cooperation is important
Noting that the first condition for the treatment of school phobia is the determined attitude of the parents, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "The attitude of the teacher at school is also very important. There is such an example for example. Suddenly the school buses get mixed up. The child is suddenly left unattended. On the first day he goes easily, but on the second day he lies on the floor and does not want to go. One-on-one guidance from the educator is needed here. The child's school was changed, the teacher there was someone with strong pedagogical training. When the child went to school, the teacher introduced him to other children. The other students took him in. The child adapted and so on. The experience of the teacher here is important. In such cases, good cooperation between the school and the mother is very important."
Orientation starts in the mind first
Noting that the orientation process should be explained to the child in a way that they will understand, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said: "This is also the case for adults. We all know the Monday syndrome. After spending Saturday and Sunday comfortably, there is an orientation problem on Monday. Orientation starts in the mind first. The child should be told, 'School is starting. What will happen when school starts. Maybe going to school is difficult for you, but why do you need to go to school? You will go to school to prepare for the future'. This period is a good opportunity to teach children to think long-term. 'Live in the moment' is a very wrong understanding. A child who thinks this way sees school as a chore. Its original meaning is to live in the moment. Children should not see school as a chore. Because school is not a chore. It is a path to overcome in order to reach the goals in life. Children should see school in this way. The child should be able to say 'School is my future'."
A sense of wonder and curiosity should be instilled
Stating that it is necessary to instill in children that learning is enjoyable, Tarhan said, "The real successful education is disciplined and fun education. This education is an education brought by neuroscience. When it is researched how the areas of the brain related to learning work actively, the brain has a reward-punishment system. When we activate the reward, the brain learns more easily. In fact, not expected rewards, but unexpected rewards lead to more learning in the brain. For this reason, the doctrine of education has changed all over the world. Not a brain that is loaded with information, but a brain that discovers. To raise people who feel a sense of wonder and curiosity. And this can only be achieved through practice. Parents need to make children love school. Even if the child does not like school, it is primarily in the hands of the parents to make the child love school, either by telling them about it or encouraging them to do so."
Their talents should be supported and there should be rules at home
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, pointing out the importance of seeing the child's inner talents and giving them the opportunity to develop them, stated that there must be rules in the family and listed his advice to parents as follows: "Setting a precedent in the family can be a problem. It should be explained that the child should set a goal for himself/herself and climb the school stairs to achieve it. This is the strategic thinking skill at school. There is a medium and long-term strategic goal. The child prioritizes and prioritizes according to that goal. When this is prioritized, the child spontaneously remembers the goal. He gets up before the mother says 'We are going to school'. Also, the home should be a rule-based environment. There will be a sweet discipline at home. There will be a discipline with love in it. If there is an environment without rules, discipline without a king, or loose discipline, the child will flounder because he/she cannot form life discipline. We need to aim for the positive in life and see the negative as an exception. We need to praise and love the child's behavior and efforts, not his/her personality. We make this mistake a lot. We need to be careful about what we plant in the child's mind. We need to raise children in an environment where books are read."
A 0-3 age policy should be established
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that parents are role models for children with their attitudes and behaviors and said: "Muhammad Iqbal has a very beautiful saying: 'Give me new mothers and I will rebuild the world'. Especially in the first three years, the mother is more important than the father. No one can replace the mother. We do not have a national policy for 0-3 years. This needs to be established. Because more than 50% of the human brain develops in this period. There are also studies in Turkey. I hope it will be completed. The first role model of the child in life is the mother and father. Parents should set a good example for the child. You should not aim to raise a good child. You should aim to be a good example for the child."
