Stating that the concept of happiness is not perceived correctly in society, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "There are those who perceive happiness as pursuing pleasure, constantly cheering up and having fun. In fact, positive psychology studies have taught us that joy is not happiness. The feeling of happiness is closely related to the feeling of inner happiness and peace." Tarhan said that there are people in society who feed on complaining and that they try to treat the situation of constantly complaining about everything by changing the thought patterns of these people with therapies.
Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made evaluations about the concept of happiness, which is not perceived correctly in society.
Joy ends because it is not sustainable...
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that there are two types of emotions in human beings when emotion analysis is made and continued his words as follows:
These are benevolent and malevolent emotions. There are emotions that we call the five horsemen of darkness, which are grudge, anger, hatred, jealousy and enmity. These emotions may be valid temporarily to protect us from some dangers, but if this continues, sympathetic activation occurs in our automatic nervous system. The body releases stress hormones. Emotions such as joy, joy, hope, peace are emotions that release happiness hormones in the brain. What do we understand by happiness? Some people only understand joy when they think of happiness. There are those who perceive the pursuit of pleasure as happiness. Western philosophy teaches us this. Constantly cheering up, having fun, some perceive this as happiness. In recent years, positive psychology studies have actually taught us that joy is not happiness. Joy is caused by external reasons and ends because it is not sustainable. You are happy when you get something, but real happiness depends on internal reasons. The feeling of happiness is closely related to the feeling of inner happiness and peace. It's not temporary, it's more sustainable."
Authentic happiness is pure and genuine happiness...
Stating that psychologist Martin Seligman and his team define positive psychology as authentic happiness, Tarhan said, "Authentic happiness is pure, pure happiness. If a person manages to be happy whether in a dungeon or in a palace, this happiness is sustainable happiness. This includes pleasure and serenity at the same time. This kind of happiness is the happiness that is best for our nervous system. Here our parasympathetic nervous system works and tells the person 'calm down, everything is under control, everything is going well'. This kind of happiness reduces the stress rate in our body."
Happiness is stress that can be controlled...
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said 'Happiness is not actually being stress-free' and continued his words as follows
"Happiness is stress that can be controlled. It is being happy in motion, like riding a bicycle. It is to be able to move forward in motion, to be happy while doing your job. Zero stress does not mean being happy. Being happy just by having fun is a hedonistic understanding of happiness. In hedonistic happiness, when you pursue your pleasures, you are happy doing what you like. Avoiding stress in everything you don't like is hedonistic happiness. But realistic happiness is to make sense of any stress when you face it in such a way that it becomes happiness. In such cases, even in the most difficult situation, one can recover and be happy without despairing. Happiness is all about one's perspective. We need to be able to define our own definition of happiness correctly."
Complaining is the enemy of happiness...
Stating that anxiety is high in people who constantly complain and feed on complaining, Tarhan said, "They do not feel safe when they do not complain. These are people who are insatiable, who cannot be happy with small things, who do not appreciate what they have and who are always negatively focused. Such a mother tells her child who gets 97 why didn't she get 100? Such people are also the ones who steal people's energy and it requires a special method to relate to them. Complaining is one of the biggest enemies of happiness. These people feed on negative thought patterns and always write pessimistic scenarios. They feel safe only through complaining, they are not happy, but this is how they sustain themselves. If these people can be taught to see the bright side, they will see the positive and the negative together. They need to learn to see the positive side and live positively oriented lives. Such people have stereotypes that form their philosophy of life. There are methods to change these thought patterns in therapies and we try to teach them to these people."
Emotion management can be learned...
Noting that one should know oneself and develop self-consciousness, Tarhan said, "The first condition for happiness is self-consciousness, the second condition is self-management. One needs to be able to manage one's own emotions, one needs to be able to manage one's negative and positive emotions. One needs to learn emotion management like learning how to drive a car. After that comes empathy, relationship management and social consciousness. If they can learn these, they learn to manage their emotional energy. People who do these things can be both happy and productive. Being happy does not always mean living like you are on vacation and taking your hands off everything. Living without a purpose also makes people unhappy."
People psychologically seek happiness
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the search for happiness is in the psychological nature of human beings and continued his words as follows:
"Happiness is like a colorful shadow. If you try to catch it, it runs away, but if you do your job and let it flow, it follows you. Happiness is like that. When you aim for it and try to create it, it runs away. There is a feeling called a sense of flow when doing work. When a person is immersed in work, they don't even realize the passing hours. This person has already achieved happiness. Anyone who has a job they enjoy should continue it. What will he do when an obstacle comes in his way? Anxiety rises at such times, but there are problem-solving methods. They should list the possible solutions, decide on one and stick to that decision. We can achieve happiness with our minds, not with our feelings. We prioritize and prioritize with reasoning methods."
Change yourself instead of the world!
Stating that one of the most important reasoning methods of our brain is analogy, Tarhan said, "Analogy enables people to appreciate what they have. Try to change yourself instead of changing the world. People are always trying to change others. People with high ego try to change everyone and everything. This is not possible and stress rises as a result. Such people also have a high sense of control. In order to achieve happiness, let's do a SWOT analysis. Identify our strengths and weaknesses. Identify our possibilities and opportunities. The person should draw his/her road map accordingly and get help from someone who knows. Especially positive psychology guides people in this regard. Positive psychology is not polyannism. We need to think positively and negatively and focus on the positive."
Modern expectation level increased
Stating that being happy with small things is an important motto, Tarhan said, "The level of expectation in modern people has increased a lot. If we never buy clothes for ourselves, the clothes in our closet would last us 10 years. But people constantly change them with the desire to be appreciated and praised. More than basic needs affect shopping behavior. The capitalist system, which is based on a consumption economy, increases production by increasing consumption. It has increased the level of material welfare, but poverty has also increased due to the continuous cycle of earning and consuming. While people have many things, they always live in debt."
People should be able to be happy while doing their routine work...
Stating that the limitations during the pandemic period taught people a very good lesson, Tarhan concluded his words as follows:
"People had to lower their expectations during this period. The emotion that makes people make the most mistakes is insatiability, greed and wanting more. The sense of entitlement only for oneself is a kind of narcissism. Modernism encourages narcissism. The capitalist system always pushes for more and more to increase production. One has to balance wants and needs. He should be content with small things, learn to live the minimum. They can push their limits once in a while, but the philosophy of fast-paced life is against both the biological and psychological nature of human beings. One should be able to be happy while doing routine work. A philosophy that teaches one to be happy by going out of the routine does not appeal to everyone. What makes people happiest is the relationship of trust."
