The education and training year, which continues remotely with the effect of the pandemic, ends today. Within the scope of the measures, report cards will be delivered to students electronically. Stating that the report card has a great meaning for students and their parents, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "The report card is not the child's character document. The behavior towards the child in the face of good or bad grades should not be excessive. Appreciate good grades and encourage them to correct bad grades. Give children 2 weeks of free time during the summer vacation and make vacation plans together."
Üsküdar University Founding Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan made statements regarding the psychology of students who are excited about report cards and the behaviors that parents should exhibit.
Do not damage their self-confidence by humiliating them
Stating that the report card is not just a piece of paper, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "The report card has a great meaning in the world of both the child and the parents. Children face the results of their efforts for a certain period of time through the report card. In a way, they experience a sense of accountability. Thanks to the report card, the child sees that they can be criticized and their behavior is reviewed. Everyone gets anxious at report card time, even if they are successful, because they are commenting on the results of a certain period. At the same time, one should not lose one's sense of uniqueness. The child's self-confidence is damaged when they are humiliated in public and the report card is given the wrong meaning. There are also mothers and fathers who are indifferent to the report card. In the face of such behavior, the child feels unloved and unappreciated. Children expect appreciation and praise from their parents. When a child who brings a very good report card does not receive praise and appreciation from his/her parents, his/her motivation decreases. This affects the child's personality development. The report card also affects the child's personality and behavior development."
Report card is not a document of the child's character
Tarhan said that the meaning of the report card from the child's point of view is a means of learning life and continued his words as follows:
"The report card is a document of the child's status in a period of his/her life. It is not a document of whether the child is good or honest, whether the child is loved or not. Parents who say "I won't love you if your report card is bad" use love as a weapon against the child. This kind of behavior causes abdominal pain in the child. In this process, parents' communication with their children is very important. Even if a child gets a bad report card, the fact that the child is upset shows that he/she has learned a lesson. If a child has 10 bad grades and 3 bad grades, parents focus on the 3 bad grades rather than the 7 good grades. It is necessary to congratulate the child for good grades and encourage the child to make up for bad grades. Even if it is a bad report card, it is possible to correct the result without damaging self-confidence. It is necessary to praise the child's effort and diligence, but not to approve of wrong behaviors. It is necessary to comment on behavior, not personality."
Unrest at home reflects on school
Pointing out that students resort to primitive methods when their report cards are bad, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "They exhibit behaviors such as drawing report cards and coming home late. Children are also afraid of being compared. They need to learn the method of learning the right things and talking about the wrong things. At this point, the attitude of parents is very important. It is also very wrong to overwhelm a child who is good in all subjects with gifts. There is no need for a material gift. Children whose words of appreciation, approval and praise are used will have a higher sense of belonging to the family. Parents also have a great responsibility in children's success. If there are constant fights at home, maybe the child goes to school because of this situation, but cannot focus because his/her mind is at home. The report card is not only the report card of the child, but also of the parents and even the teacher. If the grades are not good, it means that the parent did not pay enough attention and the teacher did not teach well enough. We put this responsibility only on the child. It is very important not to read too much into the report card. Those with weak grades should also be handled analytically."
Holiday plans should be made together
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that children should have 2 weeks of free time and continued his words as follows
"Afterwards, we should sit down and plan as a family. This is called democratic functioning where everyone in the family is consulted. If this is done, the child's sense of belonging to the family and responsibility will develop. He feels as if he is holding one end of the stone. We need to teach our children the values that make us human. Children need to learn not to lie, to be honest, to be good. Educational doctrines must be taught all over the world. But these cannot be taught in lectures. They need to be learned by experience. Summer vacation should be seen as an opportunity, and it is very important to leave children free space while planning."
