There are only a few days left until Eid al-Adha. Stating that holidays, which are a part of our culture and traditions, are a value that strengthens the social fabric, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that children feel special during holidays and their concept of belonging is reinforced. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "There are three concepts: love, value and share. Bayram offers an environment and atmosphere where these three concepts are experienced and felt."
Üsküdar University Rector Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the upcoming Eid al-Adha is an important opportunity to explain and convey our values to children.
Values are formed through social learning
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the period between the ages of 0-6, which is called the early childhood years, is very important and said, "After the child starts school, as socialization intensifies, feasting becomes even more important. There are three important points in building personality; thought, emotion and behavior. Now another "d" has been added to this; values... What does the child like the most in his/her world? What is the most important subject in his/her mind map? There are areas where he/she has dreams and places importance on. The culture they grow up in has an important impact on this. Values do not come genetically, they are formed through social learning. If an individual's personality formation is likened to a building, 30-40% of it is appearance and 60-70% is his/her personality shaped by the environment he/she grows up in. The first part is genetic, it comes from the family. The second is determined by the attitude of the family. We call this epigenetics. The environment they live in has an effect on the change in genes. The environment affects the gene. Holidays have a very important place in this environment."
Why do children love holidays?
Reminding that almost everyone longs for the old holidays, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "It is said, 'Where are those old holidays', 'Past holidays are different'. In fact, when we say this, we miss the beautiful holidays of our childhood. Children love holidays because they are days when children are treated specially and valued. Children feel a sense of belonging on these special days. There are three concepts: love, value and share. Eid offers an environment and atmosphere where these three concepts are experienced and felt. Children go on holiday visits with their families. The nuclear family creates connections with other families."
Eid tradition strengthens the social fabric
Stating that Western societies are experiencing the problems of transitioning to nuclear family, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "It has been understood that the tradition of holidays is a value that strengthens the social fabric. There are family researches. For example, these studies have shown that divorce is less in families who go to church. In our culture and traditions, there are rituals that are performed especially on holidays, such as the Eid prayer. Many children go to Eid prayers even though they do not go to Friday prayers. It is culturally important. This is very important for children. Let's not deprive our children of this taste. We should raise our children with our own values. You cannot be universal without being local. A child who knows how to respect his/her parents and seeks his/her elders on holidays is beneficial for the society."
The first and third generation should come together on holidays
Stating that one of the reasons for the increase in Alzheimer's is loneliness in advanced ages, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan explained the importance of holiday visits as follows:
"There is an example of this in Germany. A husband and wife over 70 years old commit suicide by turning on the natural gas at home. In their last letter, they say, 'No one has knocked on our door for 3.5 months except the doorman. The parents are too busy to sit and talk to their children. Grandfathers have more time. Grandparents want to tell, children want to listen. Don't get between grandparents and grandchildren. Let's make sure that the first and third generations spend more time together on Eid. Both sides have a lot to get from each other. Love is necessary for an atmosphere of trust. Homes need to be places of trust. This requires fair sharing. Loving, being loved and respect need to be taught and kept alive."
How will the sacrifice be explained to children?
Stating that until the age of 6, children do not develop abstract thought, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "In some places, children can see sacrifices. In such a case, since the abstract concept is not developed, they look at the reaction of mom and dad. If they see that this is a natural ritual, they will not experience fear. If the parents are afraid and don't let the child look, the child becomes more confused. The concept of sacrifice can be explained in a way that the child can understand. 'Meat is a need of our body. We can eat meat, but there are many people who cannot eat meat. Eid al-Adha is a holiday where help is given to those in need, sacrificial meat is shared, and the poor are taken care of."
An opportunity to teach sharing
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "We need to teach our children to think about disadvantaged people." Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Festivals should be considered as an opportunity to teach charity and sharing. In fact, if the father is going to give money to help someone when leaving the mosque, let him give it to his child so that the child learns to share and give. Holidays are a day of sharing. Like if you have two toys, share one. Sharing is very important. If we teach these feelings, we lay good foundations in the developing soul of children. We raise conscientious people who can empathize, who do not do injustice to themselves and do not do injustice to others."
