Stating that the "father" figure is very important for the psychological development of the child, experts emphasize that the function of the father is "separate and unique" just like the mother. According to experts, the relationship between the father and the child should be satisfying and sincere, and the child should always feel the father's presence with him, while "harsh and distant" or, on the contrary, "too warm and close" relationship models can lead to problems. Experts suggest that "fathers should develop a respectful but controlled, warm but conscious relationship model with their children".
Every year, the third Sunday of June is celebrated as Father's Day all over the world.
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Alper Evrensel pointed out the importance of the father-child relationship in the child's development process.
Father is strength and trust
Stating that the father is a very important figure for the psychological development of a child, Dr. Alper Evrensel said:
"Although the mother is the primary caregiver of the baby, the presence and function of the father cannot be put on the back burner in terms of its unique characteristics. In other words, the function of the mother is separate and unique, and the function of the father is separate and unique. A father is strength, a harbor to take refuge in stormy seas, a mountain to lean on when the body is weakened by difficulties. The father is trust, the family's defense system. He is a shield that will protect and safeguard the survival of the family against all kinds of attacks that threaten the family. Under the presence of such a father figure, the child feels safe and the foundation of diseases such as depression and anxiety disorders is prevented. If the child is prevented from experiencing any kind of trauma in the presence of a functional father, trauma-related diseases that occur in adulthood will also be prevented."
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Boys look up to their fathers
Stating that the relationship between father-daughter and father-son and the function of this relationship are different, Dr. Alper Evrensel said: "The image and function of the father in the eyes of his daughter and son are naturally different. If we look from the perspective of the concept we call role-model, we can easily say that the father is a prototype for his son for the fatherhood and husbandhood functions he will see in the future. The father is like a teacher who gives practical lessons at home about how this prototype functions.
The father serves as a model for the daughter's husband
The father's attitude towards his daughter serves as a model for his future spouse. The daughter looks for the positive qualities she sees in her father in her husband and does not want the problematic aspects of her father to be in her husband. Unfortunately, girls who have grown up without a father marry a symbolic husband whom they substitute for a father."
Father-child relationship should be satisfying and sincere
Stating that it is very difficult to define an ideal in the father-child relationship, Dr. Alper Evrensel said, "Because the temperament and characteristics of the father and the child will be different, the relationship established between the two will be unique. This unique relationship will of course look different from any other father-child relationship. However, the important thing is that the relationship is satisfying and sincere. The child should always feel his father's presence with him. Even after his death, the father has a spiritual impact on the child's life. For example, in the famous Disney animation "The Lion King", the spirit of his father Mufasa reminded the baby lion Simba of his duty as king."
Pay attention to this formula!
Dr. Alper Evrensel, who also gave advice to fathers for the healthy development of the father-child relationship, said the following:
"In our society, deep differences have emerged between the father-child relationship of two generations. While the relationship of our fathers, who are now living in old age and grandfatherhood, with their children is distant and harsh, the relationship of their sons with their own children has emerged as a more democratic, warm and close model. Problems arise from the extremes of both attitudes. In a harsh and distant relationship, it is as if the father is not providing adequate paternal functioning and may play a traumatic role for the child. In a too warm and close model, it is seen that the child and the father become like friends and the respect and trust that should be felt for the father is not provided. Therefore, fathers should strive to develop a respectful but controlled, warm but conscious relationship model with their children."
