Children afraid of their parents give in to sexual bullying

Children afraid of their parents give in to sexual bullying

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Stating that families have important duties in raising awareness of children against sexual abuse, experts say that children should be told about private areas from the age of 2. Pointing out that people who are sexually abused hide the abuse and continue to be abused due to shame, fear and guilt, experts warn about sexual bullying and cyberbullying, especially during adolescence.

Since 2009, March 4 has been commemorated as the World Day Against Sexual Abuse and it is aimed to raise awareness about combating sexual abuse all over the world.
Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center Specialist Clinical Psychologist Esma Uygun drew attention to the long-lasting effects of the damage caused by sexual abuse on the mental health of the individual.

EVERYONE'S REACTION TO TRAUMA IS DIFFERENT

Noting that any kind of experience that is too intense for the person's mental capacity to handle means trauma for the person, Expert Clinical Psychologist Esma Uygun said, "While any experience may have a traumatic effect for one person, it may not have a traumatic effect for another. Some people can stand stronger against traumatic events. If the person is not strong enough to fight and defend himself/herself and cannot escape, this situation creates a traumatic effect on the person. When a person is exposed to trauma, if they cannot escape, they become disconnected from their own body and memory, a kind of frozen state, and this creates psychological trauma in the person. For this reason, people who experience severe traumas may describe the event as if someone else experienced it and was not affected at all."

Sensitive people are more deeply affected

Expert Clinical Psychologist Esma Uygun said, "People who are emotionally sensitive and unable to defend themselves are more deeply and permanently affected psychologically against traumatic experiences. Sexual abuse and sexual bullying is a traumatic experience that significantly psychologically damages the person in every age period. Since young children cannot make sense of the sexual situation, early sexual arousal poses an important developmental problem for young children."

Intense feelings of guilt and shame

Noting that children or adults who have been subjected to abuse often experience intense guilt and shame, Esma Uygun said: "Thoughts about the incident being their fault cause them to be depressed. They may be distant from people, anxious and angry due to the damage to their sense of trust. When they cannot share with anyone, they cannot evaluate the situation in a healthy way and often turn to alcohol and substance use to relax. Drug and alcohol use as self-medication reduces their awareness of the dangers in the environment and may lead them to engage in risky behaviors. If their thoughts about shame and helplessness are intense, they may attempt suicide."

Evaluation should be done with a specialist

Noting that the person who has been sexually abused tends to hide what they have experienced due to shame and guilt, Esma Uygun said, "A person who tells about sexual abuse should be listened to calmly and given the opportunity to tell what they have experienced. If there is a suspicion of sexual abuse or sexual abuse, it should be ensured that they apply to the police and that the necessary evaluations are carried out in the presence of experts. Child Monitoring Centers, with the help of experts in their field, evaluate the history of abuse in detail by keeping the process completely confidential and carry out the necessary legal procedures quickly. In the following process, the child should be followed up with a psychologist and psychiatrist for a while."

Brain development is negatively affected

Pointing out that according to the results obtained from various studies, sexual abuse during childhood negatively affects brain development, Esma Uygun said the following:

"The age period in which the child is exposed to sexual abuse, the effects of this situation in later ages may vary. When the child is in an age period that does not have information about the sexual act and cannot make sense of sexual abuse, they may realize that the experience they have experienced in later ages, when they learn about sexuality, is abuse. In addition, various emotional and behavioral problems are observed during adolescence and adulthood. Childhood traumas result in the inability to establish healthy interpersonal relationships in adulthood. Insecurity and thoughts about being abused prevent them from establishing lasting and positive relationships. The meaning that people who are exposed to abuse give to life is disrupted, the feeling of being alone, the disconnection with moral values, the capacity to hope, to love themselves and others are impaired."

Attention to the threat of sexual bullying in adolescents

Pointing out that sexual abuse is also frequently seen in adolescents' peer groups, Esma Uygun listed her recommendations as follows:

"The use of sexual bullying, such as trying to persuade sexual activity without consent, coercion, threatening with photos or video images for repetition, and the use of cyberbullying as a threatening tool have become quite common in recent years. Families need to talk openly and clearly with their adolescent children about sexual and cyberbullying. We need to remember that adolescents are vulnerable to sexual bullying and abuse when they are experimenting with sexual acts. Adolescents may try to hide their sexual experimentation and the abuse they are not aware of and may have to submit to the threats of the sexual bully, with the idea that they will be found guilty and punished by their families. It is frequently seen in therapies that people who have been sexually abused hide the abuse and continue to be exposed to abuse due to shame, fear and guilt. Families and teachers need to explain what sexual bullying and sexual abuse are by including them in the education process of children and adolescents in accordance with the age period."

Private areas should be explained from the age of 2

Emphasizing that families have important duties in informing children in the fight against sexual abuse, Esma Uygun said, "First of all, it is important to educate children in the pre-puberty period to say no to touches to private areas. It is necessary to explain the private parts of the body from the age of 2. It should be taught that private areas are his/her area and that only the doctor can touch them if necessary, if the parents give permission. The child will learn not to touch or look at his/her private parts and the private parts of others. It is necessary to explain clearly that he/she should not allow anyone else to touch or look. It should be explained in a simple and calm way that if someone makes contact without his/her permission, he/she should tell his/her parents about it. At the age of 4-5, the child should be a role model to learn privacy when entering someone else's room, knocking on the door, in the toilet and shower, changing clothes."

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Updated At05 March 2024
Created At03 March 2020
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