Jealousy, one of the most important emotions affecting life, can be the killer of relationships when the dose is not adjusted. Stating that jealousy of not losing what you have shows the insecurity of the person, experts say that the statement "I trust you, but I don't trust those around you" actually means "I don't trust you either". Stating that the most pathological form of jealousy is Othello Syndrome, experts recommend getting therapy support. Experts state that envy, which is different from envy, has no pathological aspect.
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Psychiatry Specialist Assist. Assoc. Prof. Mahir Yeşildal pointed out that jealousy is one of the important emotions that have two different dimensions and affect life.
Psychiatry Specialist Mahir Yeşildal noted that the feeling of jealousy has two different dimensions, one of which is "jealousy based on the fear of not losing what you have"; the other is "jealousy of wanting to have what someone else has":
There is nothing pathological about envy
"Jealousy of keeping what you have shows insecurity. This brings feelings of worthlessness and helplessness. Wanting to have what someone else has is the first step towards the phenomenon we call envy. If I don't have it, it's the first step to have it too. Wanting to have a feature or object that someone else has is called envy. There is nothing pathological about this. The idea that if I don't have it, someone else shouldn't have it triggers a phenomenon we call envy."
The understanding that loving people are jealous can turn life into hell
Stating that the feeling of jealousy greatly affects bilateral relationships, Psychiatry Specialist Mahir Yeşildal said, "Let's take the relationship between spouses. The words like 'Darling, I trust you, but I don't trust the environment. I know you won't do wrong, but there are many different people around' are met with a perception such as 'Loving people are jealous, jealousy in dose is good' when viewed from the outside. It is an accepted understanding in society. I believe that such words are an important step towards turning life into hell. This can be your lover, your spouse or your friend. Saying 'I trust you but I don't trust the people around you' in Turkish actually means 'I don't trust you very much'."
Psychiatry Specialist Mahir Yeşildal, who touched on the damages caused by very controlled, jealous relationships, said, "Do not ask for your lover or spouse's Instagram password and check the messages written to him/her. People who know themselves will carry themselves anyway. In the life of a spouse or lover, both parties do not have the right to poison each other's lives and rule over someone else's life."
The most pathological form of jealousy: Othello Syndrome
Noting that the most pathological form of jealousy is Othello Syndrome, Psychiatry Specialist Mahir Yeşildal said:
"In Othello Syndrome, when there is nothing in the middle, when there is no concrete data, the person's inability to answer the phone at that moment, returning from the place he went 3 minutes later than the time he said before, finding a strand of hair on his clothes, leads the person to a conviction, not a suspicion. In Othello Syndrome, if a woman has a short strand of hair on her, it means for the man that she has definitely cheated on him. It could even be the milkman. It could be the grocer, it could be his lover, it could be something else. For a man in Othello Syndrome, the fact that his wife has liked a man's photo is a definite proof."
The reason behind the murders: Othello Syndrome
Noting that Othello Syndrome is not a very noticeable disorder, Psychiatry Specialist Mahir Yeşildal said, "The functionality of the person is only in that limited area related to his/her spouse or lover, it is impaired in that limited area. These people may be doctors, lawyers or housewives. But in bilateral relationships, there is a situation of fighting every day, making noise every day, making life poisonous for the person they love. It is a very serious picture. Some of the news stories that sometimes appear on the third pages of newspapers, such as 'he went on a rampage', are cases of pathological jealousy. There is Othello Syndrome under some of the femicides. According to this man, if a woman wants a divorce, the reason for it is not violence or incompatibility, but infidelity. These cases should definitely receive psychological treatment," he warned.
Therapy support should be sought
Psychiatry Specialist Mahir Yeşildal noted that when people with intense jealousy follow their spouse or lover on social media, it leads the person to depression, "He feels sad, helpless, worthless, unhappy. He makes life miserable by boring the other party, taking control, trying to know everywhere he goes, trying to determine his friends. Unfortunately, such love cannot exist. In such cases of jealousy, at least therapy support is necessary. This is not how life goes on. I would like to emphasize that the words jealousy in doses, loving people are jealous, which are expressed in society, do not always express innocence and love."
