Every day a new incident of physical, emotional and psychological violence against women is added. Stating that the foundations of the tendency towards violence are laid in childhood, experts point out the importance of a healthy childhood. Referring to the drawbacks of raising boys with a patriarchal attitude and understanding, experts emphasize that mothers of boys should raise awareness. According to experts, the discourse of "My pasha son" should be abandoned. The child should be taught to control his emotions and himself.
Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center Specialist Clinical Psychologist Selvinaz Çınar Parlak said that the foundations of the tendency to violence are laid in childhood, and people who are exposed to violence in childhood can inflict violence on their family and environment in adulthood.
Patriarchal attitude misleads
Selvinaz Çınar Parlak noted that there may be attitudinal mistakes especially in the upbringing of boys and stated that it is important to raise boys with an egalitarian sexist understanding. Expert Clinical Psychologist Selvinaz Çınar Parlak made the following evaluations:
"Boys can be raised according to the patriarchal order. They can be raised with erroneous discourses such as that all power and authority should be in the hands of the man, that he should never compromise himself, that if he compromises, he will be a loser, he will not be man enough, and therefore his identity will be damaged. Mothers raising their sons with the discourse of 'My pasha son', saying that all power is in his hands, that he has the right to everything and that he can do whatever he wants affects the child's relationships in the future. When children are raised with a patriarchal understanding, they feel the need to dominate too much in marriage and relationships. When they cannot dominate, they may have an inferiority complex. All these are triggering factors that lead to femicides."
They should be given the ability to control their emotions
Noting that it is important to teach basic human values while raising boys, Selvinaz Çınar Parlak said, "For this reason, boys should be raised with an egalitarian sexist understanding, they should be raised by instilling more human values, and misguidance such as having power is directly related to masculinity should be avoided. Especially boys should be raised according to basic human values such as the need to control their emotions, to control themselves and to respect the other person."
Those who were subjected to violence in their childhood commit violence
Noting that the foundations of the tendency to violence have a very close relationship with childhood, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Selvinaz Çınar Parlak said, "We can also see that people who commit femicides, who are prone to crime and violence are often exposed to emotional and physical abuse during childhood. For this reason, a man or an individual who has been subjected to a lot of violence in childhood can turn into a person who inflicts violence on his/her spouse, children and environment when he/she grows up."
People who commit violence should be rehabilitated
Underlining that one of the primary conditions for raising healthy individuals is a healthy childhood, Selvinaz Çınar Parlak said, "It is extremely important to identify individuals who cannot raise healthy children, to take these individuals into rehabilitation studies, and to intervene in families who inflict violence on their children or have unhealthy attitudes towards their children. These people should definitely be rehabilitated."
Even being subjected to violence and perpetrating violence once is enough for psychological support
Selvinaz Çınar Parlak emphasized that individuals who have been subjected to violence even once in their marriage or relationship, and a mother or father who has inflicted violence on their child even once should definitely receive psychological support and treatment, "These people should be supported in controlling their own anger, impulses and emotions. Most of the time, we know that violence is quite common among children and couples during divorce and separation processes. Therefore, it is very important to have healthy divorce processes, to support divorcing couples and children in this process, and to take protective measures if there is a threat and violence beforehand. We can reach a healthy society by preventing violence at every stage before it starts, before environments prone to it are formed."
