Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan points out that the bond between couples is important in ensuring the unity of the family, which is the cornerstone of society, and states that the biggest problem is "the distance that couples cannot establish in their relationship with their parents". Emphasizing that this balance should be well established, Tarhan said, "The position of the parents and the position of the spouse are different, they are not alternatives to each other. One can love both sides at the same time, protect the law of both sides and achieve the ideal by establishing this balance. When a man gets married, he should be able to love his mother from a distance."
Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the bond of marriage is important in the family unit, which is the cornerstone of society.
Loneliness is the biggest challenge in old age
Stating that the institution of marriage is a requirement of human psychological nature, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Marriage is a requirement of human psychological nature, no one can be happy alone. Women need men and men need women both physiologically and psychologically. This need creates psychological attraction and necessity in marriage. Even if people do not marry, they feel the need to live together, and when they get older, they better understand that marriage is a psychological necessity. Because the biggest difficulty in old age is loneliness."
When a man gets married, he should be able to love his mother from a distance
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that in some marriages, due to the dependence of one of the couples on their parents, their spouses may feel themselves in the second place. "Some people are so dependent on their parents that their spouses feel themselves in the second place. However, the position of the parents and the position of the spouse are different, they are not alternatives to each other. One can love both sides at the same time and achieve the ideal by protecting the law of both sides and establishing this balance. Detaching from the mother does not mean abandoning her or not loving her. When a man gets married, he should be able to love his mother from a distance. He should take his investment of love away from his mother and direct it to new areas. Otherwise, he will have many problems with the opposite sex."
The relationship between the man and his mother should be balanced
Noting that the biggest complaint of women in marital problems is that their husbands cannot break away from their mothers, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that the upbringing of boys is important and that the most important element is to establish a balance. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Women say, 'When I say love, my husband only remembers his mother. When it comes to his mother, the house is in a state of flux. I feel like an object'. Living with such a man is a disaster for a woman and it is a very difficult feeling. A man should stay close to his mother, continue to love and respect her, but love her from a distance. He should make a very good distinction between the place and position of his mother and his wife."
This balance should be taught before marriage
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that it is important for both parties to learn how to achieve this balance before marriage and said, "A man should be taught how to regulate these feelings, and a young girl should learn what to do when she meets such a man. The right thing here is to love them from a distance after marriage and after meeting the spiritual and physical needs of their parents. Because with marriage, men and women have completed each other."
