Although the pandemic has caused negative effects on public health, the home quarantine process it brought with it has turned into an opportunity for fathers who complain about not being able to spend time with their families. Experts recommend establishing a healthy relationship between fathers and children focused on love and fathers to mask their sense of panic during this period, as fathers are instinctively expected to feel a sense of trust.
Üsküdar University NP Etiler Medical Center Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi shared the tricks of a healthy relationship between fathers and children before the upcoming Father's Day.
The pandemic has been an opportunity for fathers...
Stating that the quarantine period created an opportunity for fathers who want to spend more time at home, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi said, "For most fathers who mostly spend time outside the house and have long working hours, we see that the time they spend at home has increased during the Covid-19 process. The pandemic process has turned into an opportunity for fathers who complain about not being able to spend time with their families. However, these new lives that developed unexpectedly for fathers also brought stress. Like everyone else, they are likely to look to the future with uncertainty. It is also difficult to have peace in an environment of uncertainty."
Panic should be masked
Elçi said that children expect a basic and instinctive sense of security from their fathers and continued her words as follows:
"In order to feel safe, children often look for approval in their father's eyes with furtive glances. When they observe panic in the person they expect trust from, their attitudes may change. Therefore, fathers should mask their feelings of panic in their relationship with their children and express the anxiety they feel in an age-appropriate way. If they do not express their anxiety, children may start to think that their fathers are nervous and restless because of them."
Communication should not be limited to the mother
Pointing out that the first person babies realize that there is someone else in the world is the father, Elçi said: "This is mostly known as the mother, but the baby sees himself and his mother as a whole. Therefore, the active presence of the father is the first introduction to the outside world and shows him that the world is a place to be trusted. The child, whose only communication in the family is with the mother, also has difficulty learning to share. When he starts to see himself as an individual separate from the mother, the father's attitude in the family will also teach the child's attitudes towards his own family in the future. Therefore, the presence of a supportive and helpful father at home will support the child to be a helpful father in adulthood."
3 factors are effective in adult human thoughts
Stating that the three most basic factors determine the thoughts of an adult human being, Elçi said: "These 3 factors are experiences, genetic inheritance and modeling. The first person who is modeled is the mother and father, although it varies according to gender. This is the basis of our saying 'I look like my mother or father' as the years go by. At times, you may even find yourself doing to your child the behaviors you resented them for as a child. Parents who are aware of these situations raise a mentally healthy individual both in childhood and as an adult."
A child growing up in a restless home may show negative characteristics
Elçi stated that children's first role models are their parents and continued his words as follows:
"Children imitate their parents and try to be like them. They also develop the belief that the world is a safe place during this period. It is likely that a child who grows up in a home where his/her family does not give enough love, does not provide a sense of security, and where there are frequent arguments between spouses will show anxious, obsessive or fearful attachment characteristics. This situation will turn the child into an individual who cannot separate from his/her partner in adulthood, who cannot establish a family in any way, or who has past problems in the family he/she has established. If there is a mother who is subjected to violence at home, a father who avoids spending time at home and there is a disconnected communication due to these reasons, the boy learns that this is the problem-solving management. He may exhibit similar behaviors in his own family. A girl child may perceive men as an unreliable and damaging gender and may lose her basic trust in the fair world. She may tend to provide the love and affection she cannot receive from her father by establishing emotional relationships with older people."
Father's attitude shapes life
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi said that parents have a great role in making the world more livable and concluded his words as follows:
"The children of a father who protects, protects, and reinforces his power with love rather than violence will show similar behavior in the home they will establish. On the other hand, a healthy relationship with the father will also bring a healthy state of mind. Strong communication not only in childhood but also in adulthood helps to overcome many problems. It is important to know that there is someone who will always make you feel his support and presence, who will accept you unconditionally, and it is important to remember how much the word 'I am with you' from the father carries great meaning even in adversities."
