Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the changing family relationships during the pandemic. Stating that there was a forced isolation during the pandemic process, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Such situations are something that people cannot oppose. What a smart person would do here is to be accepting instead of complaining."
Stating that there have been various changes in family relationships during the pandemic, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan emphasized that the magic word in the family is cooperation. "If a cooperation system is established between the mother, father and children in the family, even if there are problems in that family, they will be solved," Tarhan said, adding, "There was a beautiful transformation during the pandemic period. Those who make this situation permanent will win."
Üsküdar University Founding Rector Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan evaluated the changing family relationships during the pandemic. Stating that there was a forced isolation during the pandemic process, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Such situations are something that people cannot oppose. What a smart person would do here is to be accepting instead of complaining."
The value of family was realized with the pandemic
Stating that the value of the family institution was understood during the pandemic process, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "It is as if fate is giving a message to know the value of the family during this period with the pandemic. In couple therapies, we mostly look at the reasons that lead to divorce in marriage. The investment couples make in each other during this period decreases. The investment of love decreases, the time they devote to each other decreases, the words of appreciation and praise decrease. What happens when these decrease? Under the name of individualization on both sides, this time a cold relationship emerges and fractures begin."
This period should be turned into an opportunity
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that this period should be turned into an opportunity and said, "Couples here should think, "If we are going to experience the pandemic. At least let me spare more time for my spouse and children," and said that the sense of sacrifice is one of the important love languages. Noting that the purpose of life has been different since ancient times and that modernism shows selfishness as a virtue, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "It is the historical mistake of the current modernity. In history, Socrates says that the purpose of life is to pursue virtue. It is virtue that will give meaning to life. 200 years after Socrates, Epicurus, Plato continued a little bit and then Aristotle started to distort it even more. He creates a class called aristocracy. It slowly deteriorates. 200 years later Epicurus says, 'The purpose of life is to pursue one's pleasures'. Then the heavenly teachings begin. Islam adds the meaning of living for divine consent."
Women have a higher sense of empathy
Stating that the concept of family and home has been damaged in the modern world, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "There is an understanding that does not see the home as a safe space and only sees it as a hotel. They only come home to eat and drink, there is no conversation, no sharing, no social life within the family. Such an environment is already against human nature. Women have a higher sense of empathy by nature. Since they have a higher sense of empathy, they are more sensitive about protecting children and protecting the family." Stating that although there is a maternal hormone, there is no paternal hormone, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "This is genetically coded from creation. This is why women automatically assume the role of keeping the family together. A person can be a housewife, a mother to her children and a good wife. A man can also be a good husband and father of children."
Women kept the family together during this period
Stating that people should tame their malicious feelings, Tarhan said, "The pandemic helped such well-intentioned people. How did it help? Women who said how to make my family and my child better became heroes of compassion here. Women have now recovered the family."
Measures should be taken for the post-pandemic period
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan reminded that after the pandemic period, measures should definitely be taken on the effects of the crisis and pointed out that divorce cases have increased in China, gun sales have increased in the US, and according to official data, suicides have increased in Turkey. Tarhan said, "On the one hand, there are people who state that they are happy with their families, and on the other hand, we see such incidents. Therefore, social scientists need to address this issue and take measures before a major crisis erupts. After the crisis erupts, it may be too late. It is difficult to treat the disease after it occurs, it is necessary to diagnose and treat it early or to make a plan so that the disease does not occur."
The magic word in the family is cooperation
Noting that the magic word in the family is cooperation, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "If a cooperation system is established between the mother, father and children in the family, even if there are problems in that family, they can be solved. Most of the problems stem from not knowing the problem solving style. There are people with wrong solution methods. One of the golden rules of cooperation is the golden middle point rule. In other words, both sides will take steps, meet in the middle and find a solution. Currently, there has been a beautiful transformation during the pandemic period. Those who make this situation permanent will win. Men and women should try to see the good sides of each other. We see their flaws too much. The formula for increasing love is actually that both sides succeed in seeing the positive aspects of each other."
There are good days and bad days in marriage...
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "There are stormy days and good days in marriage" and added, "Life is a positive and negative flavor. You dream that there will be positive events in your life, and when negative events happen, you experience disappointment. However, it is necessary to know that life is a condiment. Like the food on the table, there is bitter, sweet, sour everything. Life is also like that. If a person enters marriage with such a mindset, if he/she enters marriage by accepting these things, it means that marriage has maturity."
Family institution is a necessity of civilization
Stating that Turkey has preserved some traditional values but has also been affected by changes in the world, Tarhan pointed out that the institution of the family is under threat. Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "The global crisis is coming. It is coming to us like a tsunami. We are not very aware of it. The foundation of the family institution has taken water. The foundation is collapsing. Mating is genetic, marriage is cultural. Creating a marriage institution, making a marriage contract is a result of civilization. So this is a requirement of civilization. If we step back from this, it means we are going back to antiquity. The West is already showing signs of returning to antiquity. The West is a fan of Antiquity" He said.
The right philosophy of life is the pursuit of meaning
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan noted that when humanity gained success in the industrial revolution of the 17th and 18th centuries, they returned to Epicurus and said, "They put hedonism as the purpose of life and this became the correct philosophy of life teaching of humanity globally. Now this Covid pandemic has taught us this: That is not the right philosophy of life. The right philosophy of life is the pursuit of meaning. Tolstoy says, 'I seek a meaning that death cannot change'. It is the pursuit of meaning in this way. Earlier Kant said similar things. Such things are seriously pleasing to human beings. When you pursue meaning, you have to think about the afterlife. When you think about the afterlife, a sense of accountability arises. Human beings do not like the feeling of accountability."
We must pass on our cultural values to future generations
Stating that development can only be achieved through cultural development, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan pointed to the importance of transferring our culture to future generations and said, "We have reduced our culture to tourism. When we say culture, we understand tourism. I mean concrete culture. Buildings, historical artifacts, their restoration. Culture is not only this, this is the concrete and visible part of culture. It is like the visible part of the iceberg. The real culture is teachings, stories, narratives. They are the scenarios we lived in our past. We need to teach these to our children, in our education system. Culture needs to merge with youth. Sports, youth and culture need to be together. For this reason, a serious mental transformation is taking place here. If we do not transform, we cannot protect it," he warned.
