Co-addiction is a term that does not apply to the addicted person, but rather to the family and relatives who unwittingly support the addiction with their behaviors and attitudes. Family and close relatives who do not see addiction as a disease may not accept this situation. When co-dependency is left untreated, depression and dysthymic disorders (long periods of sadness, introversion, melancholy) are seen in the person. As this process prolongs, the balance in the family is disrupted and the addict becomes the rule-maker. The addict may be ready to use the family situation to the fullest for his/her own benefit and this situation turns into a pathological process for the family.
What is Codependency and What are the Symptoms?
Codependency is a condition in which a person's own desires disappear completely and he/she becomes dependent on satisfying the other person. In this way, the person delegates his/her responsibilities to others. In this case, the person is in a constant effort for the happiness and peace of the other person, not for himself/herself. Co-dependency, which is defined as a psychological brain disease, is an important disease that affects not only the addicted individual but also his/her environment and daily life. As much as addiction disturbs the person concerned, it also disturbs his/her family and relatives. The person may not realize or may not want to realize the damages of the change in themselves. Parents who observe this process from the outside can recognize the changes in the person. On the other hand, the family life and family dynamics of the addicted person may be another factor among the causes of alcohol and substance addiction. We can list the characteristics that characterize individuals who are seen as co-dependent as follows;
- Feeling guilty
- Compromising your own life
- Not doing daily habits just to be with your spouse
- Starting to restrict social and personal life
- Feeling obliged for the needs of the other person
- His desire to save people with his love and compassion
- Extreme resentment when their efforts are not recognized or recognized
- Unhealthy commitment to keep their relationship going or not to end
- Difficulty in making independent decisions
- Over-emphasizing what others say
- Lack of trust
- Inability to recognize emotions
- Coercive behavior to control people
- Constant desire for approval
Co-dependency can often affect the spouse, parents, siblings, friends or companions of the person suffering from alcohol, substance or behavioral addiction. It is often a sacrifice of one's own needs for the care and happiness of the other person.
How is codependency treated?
When co-dependency is not treated, depression and dysthymic disorders are seen in the person. A person with co-dependency may try to find alcohol for their alcoholic spouse, or a mother may find excuses for her substance abusing child. In this unhealthy relationship, the codependent person believes that what they are doing is right. For co-dependent individuals, fulfilling the needs of the other person becomes an obligation and they feel responsible.
These people are careful not to offend or upset their spouses and are usually the ones who take the low side in everything. They only blame themselves when their spouses abuse alcohol. In co-dependency, the person tries to avoid being in crowded environments to prevent their spouse from drinking alcohol again. In this way, they remove themselves and their spouse from the social environment. This is often related to the person's childhood. Many behavioral changes may be necessary for the co-dependent person and his/her family. Any behavior that hinders the development of the family should be stopped. The codependent person should recognize and accept their feelings and needs. They need to learn to say "no" and to trust themselves.
