Recent allegations of child trafficking on the website Wayfair have led to questions about children's use of social media and parents' attitudes on this issue. Pointing out that children may encounter negative content in free games they play on the internet, experts have made important recommendations regarding children's use of social media. Experts recommend preventing children from using social media before the age of 13.
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital AMATEM Coordinator and Psychiatry Specialist Prof. Dr. Nesrin Dilbaz mentioned the situations that negatively affect children in social media and internet environment and gave important advice to parents.
Internet signals danger for children
Prof. Dr. Nesrin Dilbaz said that the Internet is an intense provider of content for children without boundaries, right or wrong, and said, "The lack of boundaries actually signals great danger. It should not be forgotten that when we prohibit something, it is usually meaningless for children. We need to be careful to use technological products in a controlled manner, that is, to keep them away from dangers. We all know that children's favorite content is games. They can access games from websites or apps. Free games are much more attractive for children and they often resort to this. However, the advertisements they encounter in free games can direct them to other websites that are free of charge and it is known that some obscene topics are sometimes seen in the game."
Games without online chat should be preferred
Prof. Dr. Nesrin Dilbaz said, "It is necessary to take some precautions in order to provide the child's need to play games in a healthy way" and continued her words as follows:
"In other words, reliable sites and reliable games on the internet. It is necessary to pay attention to those that do not contain advertisements, do not set an example for negative behaviors, do not contain violence and fear elements, do not have too much online communication with other games, have gained trust in this field, and if possible, come from a licensed and known publisher. Online games allow communication, correspondence and conversation with other players. It is just as dangerous for a child to talk to someone they don't know online as it is for them to talk to someone they don't know outside. The danger here is that the child may be communicating with another child, but there may be a malicious adult on the other side. These people can manipulate the child's emotions and thoughts, and push them in the wrong direction by giving wrong instructions. This can lead to child abuse."
Social media should not be used before the age of 13
Pointing out that there are age limits for social networks, Dilbaz said, "According to the rules announced by the Information and Communication Technologies Authority, children should not create a social media profile before the age of 13. It is also not very appropriate and correct for parents to create profiles for their children on social media because the information on that profile can be misused later."
Taking danger home without realizing it
"Parents think that their children are safer at home, but this is not the case," Dilbaz said, adding, "Parents allow unwanted people to enter the house through the internet and cause children to arrive where they do not want to. In other words, the danger is actually in the house without realizing it. For this reason, as experts, we generally ask that if children are on the internet or computer at home, they should do so in the living room where the family lives, where everyone can see them, not in closed rooms. Through the internet, children can engage in unimaginable activities in unimaginable places. Unpredictable, undesirable people, people who would not normally even be allowed into the house, may enter the house with uncontrolled internet. For this reason, it is never safe."
The role of a parent should be assumed, not a friend
Stating that families often use the phrase 'we are like friends' in their relationships with their children, Dilbaz said, "We always say, please don't boast of being friends with your children. Children have many friends but only one parent. For him, it is much more important to be a parent, to take on the role of a parent. It is important to know their relationships with their friends, not to follow them, but to know them, to know the level of the relationship, to be a close enough parent to know what they do together and where they go. The important phrase here is 'being a close parent'. Sometimes we see GPS being used. Of course, I don't mean it in this sense, but if a safe relationship can be established with the child, it will give information about who they go where and how they behave. It is very important to educate children from a very young age that it is important not to lie, that it is important to give effort, and that it is very important to raise them correctly about virtuous and valuable behaviors."
Decide on the game together
Psychiatry Specialist Prof. Dr. Nesrin Dilbaz gave the following advice to parents regarding children's internet, social media use and game preferences;
- You should be in communication with your child, your child should have a safe relationship with you. If you are a parent who constantly monitors and suppresses your child, your child will act secretly from you on many issues.
- It is necessary to provide an environment where he/she can talk to you in the face of any threat.
- If someone somehow manages to contact him/her, he/she should know that he/she should share this information directly with you without responding in any way.
- The child needs to be made aware of the difference between imagination and reality. In other words, he/she should be made aware that the horrible ugly images he/she encounters while playing games are in fact imaginary and not real, and that he/she should not continue with this content when it threatens him/her.
- Children should be told that it is not appropriate for them to make audio or video calls with people they do not know on the internet, just as they do not talk to people they do not know in normal life.
- In addition, family filters and security software should be used. It is especially necessary to filter out horror, violence and obscene content.
- Even after taking precautions, it should not be thought that it is still very safe, and the child should be kept in constant contact with the child and should be monitored about what he/she does on the internet, who he/she talks to and which sites he/she visits.
- Remember, it is necessary to follow up. When you are in contact with your children, ask them for information about what you want them to teach you. Let us know that they will enjoy teaching their parents and that they will spend this time well with you.
- We need to know that we should not ignore the wants and needs of children, that instead of banning the internet, they have a need for it, that is, they need to make friends during the day, get different information, watch videos.
- Even if there is a game they want to download, it should be decided together, after doing research, and even the first game should be played together.
