Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissism can adversely affect an individual's social life, leading to a life of isolation from the social environment. Narcissism is defined as a high level of self-involvement that leads an individual to ignore the needs of those around him/her. Not all narcissists have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) , as narcissism covers a wide spectrum. If you have a narcissistic spouse or partner, it is very difficult to maintain a relationship. It requires special methods. For one thing, if you say "yes" to everything a narcissistic person says, you become their slave. A narcissist wants a slave-master relationship. In other words, he does not want a horizontal relationship on equal terms. He always wants to be obeyed. And this is done by enslaving people if they have the power, by enslaving people if necessary. There is a winner-loser relationship between them. So, if you are with a narcissist, you need to know how to say "no" to all their mistakes provided that you are kind, and you need to be able to succeed provided that you are right. If you can achieve this, you will control the most important and weakest part of the narcissist.

The origin of the wordnarcissist is based on Greek mythology. In mythology, this story is summarized as follows; 'Narcissus' admires himself too much and one day he looks at his reflection in a puddle of water and melts and disappears, affected by his admiration for himself. A narcissus flower with the Latin name narcissus appears in the area where Narcissus disappears. Healthy narcissism is necessary for the continuation of life. In some cases, if a person's narcissism is not at a reasonable level for society or even for his or her own mental health, the individual may experience mental illnesses. The effects of narcissism can be found in neurosis, paranoia and psychosis, which are important psychiatric diseases.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental disorder in which an individual thinks that he/she is better than everyone else in many areas and likes and loves himself/herself the most. Many ordinary people can have narcissistic traits, but narcissistic personality disorder is much more advanced than this. While narcissistic traits may occur at certain times in ordinary people, in people with narcissistic personality disorder, this condition is spread to every part of life. Narcissistic traits of these individuals can be noticed in their lives, their environment, their communication with the opposite sex and in every stage of their daily lives.
Narcissism can be a part of a larger personality disorder as well as a trait. Narcissism is a spectrum and not all narcissists have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). People at the high end of the spectrum are classified as NPD, but other people with narcissistic traits may fall at the lower end of the narcissistic spectrum. Narcissists also do not understand the impact of their actions on others.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is used to describe individuals who are highly egocentric, with an exaggerated sense of self. Another meaning of the word narcissist is an individual who is too concerned with his or her physical appearance. The most important thing narcissistic people need to do is to learn to relate to the rest of the world. With the determined, consistent attitude of the environment, their souls develop and reach the size of their egos. With determination, consistency and preparation, this hard work must be done. The second thing they need to learn is that not everything they want is in their own interest.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Test

• They have dreams of being big, famous and rich. He acts as if these dreams have come true.
• He sees himself as an important person. In reality he is smart and talented.
• This person has achieved more than his/her peers.
• He/she denigrates others easily.
• He or she enjoys looking at the faults of others.
• He gets angry when he is not given what he wants and does not care why.
• Does not recognize his/her own mistakes.
• If he/she has to admit his/her mistakes, he/she easily gets depressed and experiences exaggerated emotions.
• He tries to say that people who are better known and recognized than him are not so great at all.
• He finds ways to use others to achieve his goals.
• He categorizes everything and prioritizes what is most important to him.
• He is very selective in the people he meets and lives with.
• The way he dresses and the car he drives makes him feel special.
• Unless he/she has something to gain from others, he/she does not care about their feelings and thoughts.
• He feels under pressure when he is asked to take care of his responsibilities.
• Since they feel special, they want the rules to be organized according to them.
• When asking questions in a meeting, they make comments showing that they know more than the speaker.
• Complains that he/she is often misunderstood.
• He/she often mentions that he/she has been treated unfairly.
• People like his/her achievements, but not his/her personality.
• He likes to compete, but cannot tolerate losing.
• When criticized, he feels jealous of himself.
• For him, things that do not fit his ideals have no value.
• Success, power, wealth, fame are his primary interests.
• If the truths are more than 10, determine your method and set your limits.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

People who showsigns of narcissism can be generally attractive and charismatic. Especially in relationships, they generally do not suddenly exhibit negative behaviors. People who exhibit narcissism behaviors generally like to have people around them who feed their ego. Even if these relationships are superficial, they have relationships to reinforce their ideas about themselves. The symptoms of narcissism personality disorder are as follows;

• Too much self-admiration
• Lying
• Manipulate
• Harming others
• Developing a sense of constant admiration
• Exaggeration of achievements and abilities
• Displaying arrogant behavior
• Lack of empathy
• Seeing themselves as entitled to have everything they want

Individuals with narcissism personality disorder exhibit aggressive behaviors when they are excluded, criticized or unwanted in their social lives. Any negative criticism from the society may cause the individual to feel that he/she is underestimated, unimportant and even humiliated. In this case, an individual with narcissistic personality disorder may experience problems such as depression, impatient behavior and loss of anger control.

What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Although it usually occurs in adolescence or early adulthood, it is possible to encounter narcissism in childhood. The way the child is raised, the family's attitude towards the child, and the environment in which the child grows up are factors that pave the way for the formation of narcissistic personality disorder. Factors that may cause narcissistic personality disorder can be listed as follows;

• Frequent judgment of the child
• Excessive praise and intense interest in the child's abilities and behaviors
• Immediate fulfillment of the child's every wish
• Insufficient attention and neglect of the child
• The child is deprived of love and affection
• Exposure of the child to emotional abuse

What are the Types of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

In daily life, narcissism is often used as a description for individuals who are overconfident, manipulative of others, unable to empathize and egotistical. However, this usage can pose a risk in many respects. In particular, exhibiting narcissistic traits is not a sufficient factor to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder . Narcissism does not only consist of grandiose behavior; it has recently been observed that there are many dimensions of pathological narcissism. These fundamental differences are based on changes in the subtypes of narcissism. These types of narcissism are as follows;

Healthy Narcissism: It is considered a normal state and is present in almost every person. There is no problem as long as it is in harmony with reality. On the other hand, narcissism is an impulse that undertakes the function of the individual being aware of his/her own value and grasping what he/she has rights over.

Grandiose Narcissism: Individuals with this structure show their own skills and feelings of righteousness. This situation creates an obsession. They continue their grandiose behavior without caring how they influence those around them.

Vulnerable-Vulnerable Narcissism: It is the opposite of grandiose narcissism. These individuals are generally timid and sensitive. Their other structural conditions are jealousy and overreaction to criticisms made by others. They exhibit an intense defense and reaction against criticism against them.

Sexual Narcissism: People with this problem are obsessed with their performance in this area. They need others to praise and approve their performance, they want to be admired. They choose to use sexuality to manipulate those around them.

Somatic Narcissism: Somatic narcissists obsessively care about their appearance. For these individuals, their clothes, the accessories they wear, their physical appearance, their weight, their hair are very important. They see themselves more beautiful and stronger than they are. Because of this structure, they judge other people according to their appearance.

Cerebral Narcissism: It is the opposite of somatic narcissism. These people attach importance to the intellectual character of individuals, not their external appearance. However, they find themselves more intellectual and intelligent than other people. They do not find other people sufficient in the field and make them feel these ideas to others.

Spiritual Narcissism: These individuals see their own beliefs and spirituality higher than everyone else. They prioritize this side of themselves and they manipulate and manipulate their opponents.

Malicious Narcissism: This type of narcissism is more dangerous than others. It is considered the most damaging type of narcissism. Malicious narcissism also includes antisocial personality traits, and sadism can also be added to this situation.

How is Narcissism Personality Disorder Diagnosed?

A psychologist or psychiatrist can recognize whether a person has symptoms of narcissism personality disorder. The clues obtained while solving problems together in interviews can often be enough to understand whether the person has this problem or not. The specialist can diagnose narcissism personality disorder if the person has five of the following symptoms during the sessions;

• Excessive self-importance
• Feeling much more successful, beautiful, powerful than other people
• Displaying arrogant behavior
• Needing to be liked
• To feel entitled to everything you want to achieve
• Manipulating people
• Lack of empathy

In addition, mental health professionals can also use personality tests to determine a diagnosis. In order to benefit positively from personality tests, the individual must answer the questions posed to him/her correctly. On the other hand, narcissistic personality disorder may be accompanied by other psychological disorders and this may make it difficult to determine the diagnosis.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Treatment

Individuals with narcissism personality disorder are usually not aware that they have this problem. One of the first and most important steps to well-being is to be aware of how one's behavior affects one's own life and communication with others. Therefore, if you have relatives around you who have the symptoms mentioned above, it will be important to warn them in an appropriate language that they have this problem.
Therapy sessions are the main element in the treatment of narcissism personality disorder. At this stage, the individual starts to become aware of his/her own thoughts and behaviors. If you have other problems such as anxiety and depression, the specialist you consult may suggest adding antidepressant treatment to the therapy. In addition to antidepressants, the specialist may also recommend the use of mood stabilizers and antipsychotic drugs.

How to Treat People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

You should either accept narcissistic people for who they are or get rid of them. If these two are not possible, you will take the hard way, which is to teach them to change. There are two important things that motivate them to change. The first is that they feel that the loss of what they value is imminent. The second is that they believe you are serious. Narcissists are insensitive, but they are not stupid. It will be possible to get their attention by making a good support plan. Demonstrate your determination and consistency by writing down the mistakes he/she has made. An open ultimatum is the only chance. This is why individuals with narcissistic personality disorder should be treated as follows;

• Think critically. Keep in mind that they are a dazzler. This is the only way to prevent them from influencing you by entering your interests.
• Know your own purpose. No narcissist can use someone who knows his/her own personality well. They remain in a mutually beneficial relationship with him/her.
• Don't jump to conclusions. Big ideas are striking at first, but exaggerated ideas must be verified. Consult others.
• Narcissists have to live in a world where there is nothing bigger than their ego. Make them feel that you are happy to be part of something bigger.
• Act on behavior, not words. If you have to live and deal with a narcissistic person, you have to be firm and consistent. You have to make them accept this at the beginning of the relationship. Most narcissists do not like to be challenged. They are quick to back down and change their goals and interests. If you are thinking of working together, the value for money and deadlines should be clearly defined.
• They cannot understand empathy, but you can make them act empathetically by confronting them with their own interests.
• If you are aggressive with an angry narcissist, they show incredible potential to suddenly become the underdog. You will be in the wrong when you are right.
• Set your own boundaries. They see themselves as kings, they don't need to be thanked. They are like a cat in the street. When you run out of food, they leave without looking back. Let them know that you don't approve of their ungrateful behavior, but don't fight, you won't get results. Don't expect them to pay the price.
• When things go wrong, they become unhappy and try to get away with it. Don't be fooled by this. They blame themselves as if they are confessing their guilt, their bad temper and everything else. Stay calm at that moment, but don't think they will change.
• The narcissist should receive the praise he/she expects when he/she accomplishes something difficult. His/her personality should never be praised and his/her behavior should not be magnified. They want praise more when they do difficult work.
• Criticism can easily turn into a weapon of abuse for a narcissist. He/she may regret you when you criticize. For this reason, do not criticize without being one hundred percent right, do not criticize improvisationally, and determine your purpose well while criticizing. Wait for a good moment before you start criticizing and tell him/her that you will criticize him/her with his/her permission. Criticize his/her behavior, not his/her personality. Speak in I language, not you language. If you do not do this, they will easily become defensive. Use neutral words in your criticism instead of accusatory and judgmental words. Do not criticize without preparing as if you are preparing for an important speech. Always leave him/her a way out. Start with sentences like "Maybe I am wrong...". Explain that you don't expect an answer right away and that you can talk again later.

If you have a narcissistic tendency, recognizing this is fifty percent success. Make it your goal to understand and appreciate others, to listen to criticism, to try not to talk about yourself, to help anonymously, to involve yourself in charitable activities. Make an effort to develop your personality to be a good person. If you still cannot succeed, seek professional help.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sexuality

People with narcissistic personality disorder are exploitative, manipulative and problematic. They learn people's weaknesses and needs and act accordingly. They make people dependent and needy on them. In general, a person who is with narcissists starts to feel worthless over time. The sexual life of narcissists is also very problematic due to performance anxiety, early or late ejaculation or lack of erection. For them, sexual intercourse is seen as a match to be won. In narcissistic personality disorder, which is usually seen in men, individuals cannot get physical and emotional satisfaction from sexual intercourse.

What Should You Do If You Have a Narcissistic Partner?

Especially today, a narcissism pandemic has occurred. Books called "Narcissism Epidemic" were written in the USA. Narcissism has become seriously widespread globally. What is narcissism? A person with a high ego, a person with a sense of greatness, a person who sees himself/herself at the center of the world, who feeds on praise and applause, who sees himself/herself as special, important and superior, who wants everyone to obey me, to always do as I say, to have power and authority. If you have such a spouse, if you think "let our marriage continue" and say "yes" to everything he/she says, this situation will lead you to an extremely bad result.

What is the most difficult part of having a narcissistic spouse?

It is very important to answer the question "If you have a narcissistic spouse, what is his/her weakest side?". Since narcissism feeds on praise, he/she feels very bad and lonely when he/she cannot get praise from the other party. When you say "no" to a narcissist, because they are closed to criticism and have empathy erosion, narcissists want to emphasize that they are power and success-oriented. It is necessary to criticize them with their reasons. When they cause an incident, it is necessary to explain with their reasons.
It is necessary to be able to say "I love you but I don't approve of what you are doing". Their most important and weakest point is their fear of losing the things they care about. If the thing they care about is their spouse or child, they step back as soon as they feel that they will lose them. It is useful to know this.

How Should You Relate to Your Narcissistic Spouse?

If you have a narcissistic spouse, it is very difficult to live with this spouse. Special methods are required for this. First of all, if you say "yes" to everything a narcissistic person says, you become his slave. A narcissist wants a slave-master relationship. In other words, he does not want a horizontal relationship on equal terms. He always wants to be obeyed. This is done by enslaving people if they have the power, and by enslaving people if necessary. There is a winner - loser relationship. So, if you are with a narcissistic spouse, you need to know how to say "no" to all his/her mistakes provided that you are kind, and you need to be able to succeed provided that you are right. If you can achieve this, you will control the most important and weakest part of the narcissist.