Some students are struggling with stress and anxiety due to broken grades just days before the report cards are received. Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Asst. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Başak Ayık explained the curious things...
In this context, how should parents approach children with broken report cards?
A report card is not only a document showing the student's evaluation. It can provide a lot of information about the student, his/her family, behaviors and attitudes within the family, the extent to which the family is aware of the child's problems and whether they are taking steps to help. It also gives an idea about subjects outside the classroom, social communication at school and educators. Unfortunately, the general attitude is to see the report card only as an evaluation of the child and the young person.
Psychology of Bad Report Cards
Parents should not react in a sudden and overly negative way to the report card, no matter what the circumstances. They should investigate the factors underlying this result and do their part to eliminate the problem. In other words, they can actually use this as an opportunity to turn negative problems into positive results.
Academic success is influenced by the child's intelligence level, learning capacity, and ability to sustain attention, as well as familial and social factors, which we call environmental factors. Families who try to solve academic problems that are noticed with the arrival of broken grades in the report card are the parents who take the first step to help their children to identify and solve these problems, in a sense, they are the parents who show the right approach.
One of the main responsibilities of parents is to find the source of the problem and provide the necessary support by meeting with both educators and child and adolescent psychiatrists who are experts in the field.
Negative behavior towards a child who has failed a few subjects can lead to negative consequences in the long run
In addition to parents who have a positive and correct approach, unfortunately we know that there are many parents who have negative and wrong attitudes. In fact, children give many signals during the semester before the report card shows a broken grade. Parents who do not provide appropriate support to these children who need help in solving their academic problems should first question themselves when they encounter negative results in the report card that they have not been able to change. This situation does not only involve parents with insufficient interest and support, but also ambitious parents with high expectations of success can cause low grades by creating success anxiety and feelings of inadequacy in their children. Instead of understanding a child who is already going through these processes, identifying the problem and helping him/her to solve it, acting punitive and judgmental causes him/her to be left alone with his/her problem even more, his/her academic interest to decline even more, and his/her withdrawal from education life. It also causes coldness and conflicts in family relationships.
How does having a positive approach to a child with a bad report card and encouraging him/her to make up for his/her grades benefit the child?
A positive approach and trying to understand the child is always beneficial. What I mean by positive approach, of course, is not inappropriate and disproportionate rewarding of low grades and bad report cards. Nor does it mean ignoring the negative result as if there were no broken grades at all. It means recognizing the situation; making the child feel that you recognize it in an appropriate and soft language; and lending a helping hand to identify and solve the problems that led to this situation. The child who feels understood and helped will open all positive ways of communication with you and cooperate with you in solving the problem. When they solve their solvable problems, they will lead a more successful and enjoyable academic life. He/she will be a confident and happy individual.
What kind of behaviors does facing extreme reactions from parents cause the child to develop against his/her parents?
The child, who is already the protagonist of a troubled situation, has trouble coping with the stress he/she is experiencing. Instead of being understood and helped at this point when he needs help, he may be punished many times before he can even explain his problem. In this situation, they may make sudden and wrong decisions due to the fact that their reasoning skills are not fully developed. They may run away from home and harm themselves for fear of an extreme and negative reaction at home. They may also turn to wrong friends and wrong behaviors. He moves away from his family and starts to feel anger towards them.
