Why does a child not want to sleep alone?

Why does a child not want to sleep alone?

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Pointing out that psychological problems may be behind the child's problems of not falling asleep, not sleeping alone and having nightmares, experts said, "The problems they experience disrupt the quality of sleep. Children who do not have enough communication with their parents may not want to sleep alone. The child who cannot have a satisfying relationship with them also does not want to go to bed and seeks to maintain communication."

Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım from Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center said that sleep problems in children can have negative effects on the development of the child.

Stating that one of the few issues that parents consult the most is sleep problems in children, Aynur Sayım said the following:
"We may receive complaints such as I can't put my child to bed, he doesn't want to go to bed, he doesn't want to sleep alone, he comes to us, he is afraid, he wakes up frequently, he grinds his teeth during sleep. There can be many reasons for sleep problems in children. These reasons can be physical and emotional. In the first year after birth, the physical needs and complaints of the baby, the temperature of the environment, noise, the mother's trust relationship with the baby, the way she meets her needs, and the psychology of the mother affect sleep. The baby is hungry, has gas, is teething, has reflux. Sleep is a basic requirement for infant development. The sleep habits and needs of each child vary. Newborn babies sleep 16-17 hours a day, but this is at frequent intervals."

Appears after the second year

Stating that most of the sleep problems occur from the second year onwards, Aynur Sayım said, "Falling asleep is often difficult. In the following periods, fears, high anxiety of the child, sleepwalking, teeth grinding begin to be seen. Children speak with the language of behavior. If they have a problem, they express it through behavioral problems. Difficulty falling asleep and sleep interruptions, bedwetting during sleep are usually a sign of a problem area in the child."

Attention to lack of satisfying relationship

Expert clinical psychologist Aynur Sayım stated that there may be some reasons why the child does not want to sleep alone in his own room and said, "The child may not want to leave the parents and go to his room. There is a movement, dynamism inside, or mom or dad is coming late, or there is not enough communication between them and the child, and the child who cannot catch a satisfying relationship with them does not want to go to bed, he seeks to continue communication."

Problems disrupt sleep quality

Specialist clinical psychologist Aynur Sayım listed the other reasons as follows:
"If there are problems, fights or psychological problems between the parents; if they do not have a good, trusting relationship with the child; if the child is experiencing sibling jealousy; if there are school, learning and adaptation problems, the child's anxiety increases. This restlessness is reflected in sleep quality. They may say they are scared, they may want to be close to their parents, especially if the younger sibling sleeps in the parents' room and they sleep in a separate room, there will often be an attempt to come to that room.

It can be connected to the transition object

When the child cannot tolerate separation from the mother, which varies for each child, but happens between 2-3 years of age, he or she may become attached to a transitional object. This can be a blanket, an object of the mother, a soft toy. It is important not to judge the child for this and not to destroy that object. Because this object has a meaning in the child's development, the child has found a way to move on to the next period."

Stating that there may also be sleep problems caused by neurological problems, Aynur Sayım said that in these cases it is necessary to seek the help of a neurologist.

May experience night terrors

Noting that sleepwalking and sleep talking occur when the child is in deep sleep and that familial characteristics can be seen, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım also drew attention to the condition called night terrors: "Night terrors are similar to a severe panic attack that usually occurs a few hours after falling asleep. The child is unconscious in fear. He makes aimless movements. Then he calms down and falls asleep again."

The family's approach is important

Stating that the child's sleep pattern is related to the attitude of the family, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım stated that expert support is important for the solution of the problem and said, "If the family is insufficient in discipline, there may be resistance in this issue as in other behaviors in the child. The child will not be able to create internal discipline. The way families approach the child with sleep problems also plays an important role in solving or reinforcing the problem. If we try to solve a problem whose cause we do not understand, we will be wrong. Whichever of these reasons is experienced, that reason should be worked on."

Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım recommended that if there is a sleep problem, a child-adolescent psychiatrist should be examined, psychiatrist-neurologist cooperation should be ensured in cases where neurologist support is required, and a treatment program should be made after diagnosis; In psychologist studies, psychotherapy of the child, family and school counseling should be taken together.

Aynur Sayım said, "If the approach of families is judgmental, punitive and far from empathy, the problem may increase and behavioral problems may be added to the picture."

Meet the baby's needs on time

Sayım made the following suggestions to families in overcoming the baby and child's sleep problem:

"Be sensitive to the needs of the baby and meet their needs on time, do not wake the baby up frequently from sleep, do not give too much stimuli.

Establish a secure relationship

Build a trusting relationship with your child. Support him/her to individualize, make him/her feel that you trust him/her, don't overprotect him/her, but don't neglect him/her either.

Calm the environment before sleep. If there is noise, activity and fun, the child will not want to sleep.

Make time for him/her

Spend regular time with your child and share quality, enjoyable, interactive time with them. Play games, do activities.

Do not judge or punish your child for this problem, especially if he/she cannot sleep because of his/her fears and anxiety, an approach that is far from understanding him/her will both spoil your relationship and the child's problem will grow even more.

Try to understand him/her, listen to him/her, comfort him/her.

Establish a reward system

If there is a discipline problem, you can use a reward-oriented and determination-oriented system by conducting behavior and scoring studies.

Do not argue in front of the child, do not criticize each other, do not talk about this problem everywhere.

If the child has problems with adaptation, attention, learning, bedwetting, aggressive or withdrawn, be sure to seek expert help."

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CreatorNP Istanbul Hospital Editorial Board
Updated At05 March 2024
Created At03 August 2018
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