What is the Grief Process in Children and Adolescents?

What is the Grief Process in Children and Adolescents?

Stating that each child's reaction to disasters is different, experts say that reactions such as aggression, arguing, bullying and becoming quiet and withdrawn can be seen. Experts say that parents have the opportunity to correct misunderstandings in children's minds and recommend that children should be told that it is okay to cry and feel sad, be made to feel safe and be allowed to grieve for what they have lost.

Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Gökçe Vogt talked about the ways children react to disasters and gave important advice to parents.

Loss and Grief Reactions in Children and Adolescents

Stating that each child reacts differently to a disaster, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Gökçe Vogt continued her words as follows:

"After a disaster, children may experience strong emotions such as fear, sadness, anxiety, feeling lost and alone. It is normal to have these feelings and they should be allowed to express them. Sometimes children, especially younger ones, find it difficult to express their feelings in words and express them through their behavior. Some children deal with their feelings by becoming aggressive. They may argue or fight with classmates and siblings, stop following home or school rules, bully others.

Some children are afraid. They may be afraid of things they were not afraid of before, or they may become quiet and withdrawn. Some children may even start to stutter. Some children develop physical reactions. They may have a headache or stomach ache even though there is nothing medically wrong with them. Some children have trouble sleeping, have nightmares or have trouble concentrating at school. Especially adolescents may start to show risky behaviors."

How should the earthquake be explained to children?

Expressing that in general, children should be given age-appropriate information about what happened and what will happen, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Gökçe Vogt said that parents also have the opportunity to correct misunderstandings in children's minds during this information process and listed her recommendations as follows:

  • Take time to listen to him/her and let him/her share his/her feelings with you. Sharing your own feelings will also motivate him to express his feelings.
  • Let him/her know that it is okay to be sad and cry. Make him/her feel that you understand and reflect his/her feelings with sentences like 'You don't seem to want to do anything, I see that you are sad, it is normal to be sad in such situations'.
  • If he/she is at play age, you can create opportunities for him/her to share his/her feelings with you through non-verbal expressions such as drawing or puppets.
  • Parents with preschool children, try to keep your children away from noise and chaos as much as possible. Try to give them the opportunity to have control over small things like choosing clothes.

How to Protect Children from Earthquake Trauma?

Emphasizing that the child should be given hope and assurance that everything will be fine and that he/she is safe, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Dr. Gökçe Vogt said, "Remind him/her often that he/she is safe. Embrace him/her often and spend more time with him/her. Allow your child to grieve for the person, animal or things they have lost. Be there for him, don't expect him to be strong and let him be sad.

Try to return to your old routines such as bathing and sleeping as soon as you can. Starting school will help him/her get back to his/her routine. They can also share their feelings and thoughts with their friends at school. Adolescents feel empowered and validated when they are involved in charity activities. Therefore, encourage them to get involved in these activities. Another issue that needs special attention is that exposure to images on social media should be prevented. Unfortunately, this situation can lead to secondary traumatization of children."

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Updated At05 March 2024
Created At10 March 2023
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