Grief Psychology is the psychological state that expresses the mental state we enter after the loss of a loved one.
At some point in our lives, we have lost a person we love very much, our spouse, mother, father, friend and most painfully our child, and the loss has experienced the psychology of grief.
For example; after a relative passes away in the hospital, some people may faint due to the pain. These people are immediately taken to an emergency room. They are given tranquilizers, which are widely known in the society.
This is a very big mistake. If a person's spouse, mother, father or sibling has died, it is considered abnormal behavior not to grieve or cry. In such a situation, if a person has a holiday program and does not cancel it, this is not considered normal.
In this case, it is a big mistake to resort to tranquilizers because that person has to experience that pain.
A side effect of these tranquilizers administered in the emergency room is forgetfulness. They make you forget a period of time before or after the event.
If we want to deal with grief in a normal way, we need to live the pain. Trying to forget cannot be a solution. For grief and grief psychology, we can say very clearly that forgetting is the real betrayal.
In our culture, we have a very beautiful custom from the past.
This custom is that when someone's relative passes away, the body of the person is brought to that house. Those who cannot come to the hospital, the morgue or the mosque see the deceased one last time. Then they all go to the mosque to fulfill their religious obligations and then to the cemetery.
As psychiatrists, we think that all relatives, first-degree relatives should definitely be present at the cemetery. We say that justifications such as, for example, my mother has diabetes, she is very emotional, she will be very affected, are invalid. Relatives must be present at the cemetery and burial stage, because the person has died and we have buried them.
Although it is very painful for the person at that time, it prevents the mourning from turning into complicated mourning.
Grief reaction, grief psychology is actually very similar to depression.
- Not being able to enjoy life,
- Unhappiness,
- Constant desire to cry,
- Decreased appetite,
- Sleep disturbance,
- There are situations like irritability. They do not want to do the things they love.
What to do in case of grief psychology?
- What can be done for someonein Grief Psychology is to ensure that the person actively participates in the funeral process.
- It is important to support and be with people inGrief Psychology. It is very wrong to say 'I didn't want to call you, I didn't want to make you tell me again, I am calling you 3 days later'.
- There is nothing as insincere as saying 'do you need anything, you can reach me by phone' on the phone. It is necessary to call someone in mourning immediately and even go to them immediately. This kind of support is very important for the person experiencing grief psychology .
- For condolences, go immediately to the person experiencing grief psychology. Go without asking that person.
- Another point is to take food to the condolence house. In fact, this is not such a simple thing. There is also a psychological mechanism underneath. 'You grieve, you are in no condition to sit and cook at home right now, I am doing the cooking for you' We think that this is a great support for people experiencing grief. This situation supports the person in terms of Grief Psychology .
- There are periods of social mourning such as earthquakes, floods, martyr news or July 15. In these cases, the most important task falls to the people who guide and manage the society. Grief psychology needs to be managed well in this situation.
Politicians, intellectuals speaking in a style that expresses their understanding of the pain of the society in the programs they appear on TV or on social media and not reflecting too much of the sense of anger that is inevitable for grief will play an important role in preventing social grief from becoming pathological.