Why does a child cry when starting school?
The cause of the crying crisis; Separation Anxiety Disorder...
All children react differently when they meet school for the first time; some adapt easily, while others don't want to leave their parents and even have crying fits. And why is this? Separation Anxiety Disorder, which is common in children starting kindergarten and primary school, is caused by the overprotective attitude of the parents.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım from Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center said that the most common problem in children who have just started kindergarten and primary school is Separation Anxiety Disorder.
Emphasizing that this problem is caused by the child having problems in the process of individualization, Aynur Sayım said, "This condition is seen in children of anxious, protective parents. Especially in the period between the ages of 2-3, parents who prevent the child's attempts on their own and approach with anxiety prevent this process from being healthy in the child. The child who is separated from the family gets the idea that he/she cannot do anything on his/her own, feels helpless and lonely, so he/she gets scared, cries and yells. These reactions are actually a call for help."
Stating that psychiatric problems such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), learning difficulties, depression and social phobia also make it difficult for the child to adapt to school, Aynur Sayım said that the child should overcome this process by working together with the family, school and treatment team.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE FEAR OF SCHOOL?
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım stated that fear of school can be recognized in three different ways and said the following:
"It is mostly in the form of separation anxiety in children who have just started kindergarten and primary school. The child does not want to leave the parents or caregivers. It is especially seen in children who are raised dependent by their parents. Overprotective parents prevent the child from individualizing. The child has low self-confidence in social environments. He/she does not know how to behave when he/she is alone, he/she is afraid. It may be a reaction to a situation at school: The teacher's attitude, ridicule from friends, etc.
In psychiatric disorders such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), specific learning disabilities, intellectual disability, conduct disorder, depression and social phobia, if the child has inadequacies in certain areas, if he/she has difficulty learning, if he/she has low self-confidence, he/she experiences adaptation problems. Problems in communication within the family, divorce, a sibling staying at home, sibling jealousy, death, accident or illness in the family can also lead to school refusal.
If family pressure is added to this situation, the child is forced; if he/she is judged, his/her anxiety increases, he/she panics and school refusal may turn into school phobia. They may say that they are afraid of the teacher and that they cannot get along with their friends."
DO NOT WAIT FOR THE PROBLEM TO GO AWAY
Stating that children with school phobia may experience loss of appetite, sleep disturbance, restlessness, irritability, nervousness, shyness, introversion, lack of interest in school activities, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım said, "As long as he does not go to school, starting school becomes difficult. The family's approach of 'Let's wait for a while, maybe it will pass' is wrong. The problem gets bigger," she warned.
Aynur Sayım defines school maturity as "the child reaching a certain level in terms of physical, mental, social and emotional development and being ready to successfully fulfill what is expected of him/her at school" and says, "The negative perception developed against school in the first years affects the whole academic life of the person. Parents should make sure that their children develop in parallel with their peers in all areas of development. In the name of the mental development of a child with school maturity; visual and auditory perception ability should be good, the child should be able to keep what he/she perceives in memory, think logically and establish cause and effect relationships, and have sufficient concept knowledge."
CHILD SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR LIFE
Stating that the family has the biggest share in the formation of school maturity, Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım said, "In fact, this process is related to the process of the child until he starts school. It is a process that prepares the child for life. Family attitudes that encourage the child to be self-confident are necessary. In this case, the child is already ready for school. Supporting self-care skills, eating, dressing and giving responsibility should be ensured. Socialization of the family is an important issue here. It is necessary to meet with other people frequently and ensure that the child plays with peers."
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım also listed the characteristics of children who have reached school maturity as follows:
- They should be able to use their body comfortably,
- They should be able to provide physical coordination,
- They should have the fine muscle development to hold a pencil and write,
- In language development, they should have sufficient vocabulary,
- Have sufficient self-confidence in terms of social and emotional development,
- He/she must have established a secure relationship with his/her parents,
- He must be able to achieve safe separation,
- He must be able to take responsibility,
-Establish comfortable social relationships with peers and maintain healthy relationships,
- Have the ability to solve social problems,
- Be able to sit calmly in group activities,
- Should be able to listen and follow instructions,
- They should be able to meet their own needs in areas such as cleaning, feeding, dressing and resting."
CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES SHOULD BE SUPPORTED
Noting that school maturity varies from child to child due to individual differences and that individual differences also affect maturity, Aynur Sayım said, "Whether the child is ready for school can be possible with School Readiness Tests and developmental evaluations, and children with inadequacies in certain areas should be supported in the school process."
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aynur Sayım also made the following recommendations to overcome Separation Anxiety Disorder in a healthy way:
- Intimidation, threats, violence and judgment should not be used.
- The child has an emotional reaction to a situation that disturbs him/her. The best approach is to recognize this and try to understand him/her. It is necessary to empathize with the child and try to understand him/her.
- Find out which situation and emotion is causing school refusal and try to solve this problem.
- For this, the family should seek help from a psychiatric center. Psychiatric approach and psychotherapy should go hand in hand.
- The family should be committed to the child's school attendance. However, the child should be made to feel that this problem concerns the whole family and not just the child.
- The teacher and the family should be in close cooperation. The teacher's reassuring and non-coercive style is important."
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