Students are preparing to leave behind an exhausting semester. One of the most talked about topics these days is the measure of reward and punishment in the report card. Experts point out that reward or punishment can lead to the formation of a child's approval-seeking personality trait. Experts warn, "A child who constantly needs approval cannot form his/her own ideas and preferences."
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Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Medical Center Specialist Clinical Psychologist Esma Uygun talked about the effects of reward and punishment in the report card on the child's personality development.
"Approval-seeking" personality trait may develop
Expert Clinical Psychologist Esma Uygun stated that giving rewards for high grades and punishments for low grades can cause the child to develop a personality trait related to approval seeking and said the following:
"Parents' attitudes and behaviors, communication style about the grades on the report card, and how they evaluate the report card actually determine how the child should evaluate the report card himself/herself. Approval seeking often appears as a maladaptive coping mode in one's adult life. The fact that problems related to self-confidence or anxiety often consist of the content of thoughts related to approval seeking is one of the problems we often encounter in therapies."
Children cannot form their own opinions and preferences
Expert Clinical Psychologist Esma Uygun said, "Punishment causes the child to internalize that losing the approval of parents is a terrible thing, so negative feedback about any situation from social life is a terrible thing. A child who constantly needs approval cannot form his/her own ideas and preferences."
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Esma Uygun also emphasized that exaggerated rewards for high report card grades and course grades have the same effect.
The report card should be evaluated together with the child
Noting that the child's report card grade should be evaluated holistically together with the parents, Esma Uygun gave the following advice to the parents:
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"The purpose of the report card is to help us assess whether the child has fulfilled his/her responsibilities throughout the year and what lessons he/she has performed well in. The report card is a reward-punishment system in itself, so it is an important opportunity to plan and find solutions for lessons that need improvement. When faced with a report card with low grades, parents should evaluate the report card together with the child.
The report card is an opportunity for the child's development
It should be discussed in a constructive and non-accusatory manner that the report card is a result for the evaluation of the semester, what factors may have caused this result and what can be done to avoid the same situation. The child should be given the opportunity to plan for the next semester and should be reviewed together. If necessary, parents should convey their own solution suggestions to the child. In order for the child to develop planning skills, planning should be encouraged even in daily life. The report card should be turned into an important opportunity for child education and personality development."
