Experts point out that disappointments cause mental and physical fractures in people and that the mind tends to ignore the possibility of positive dreams not coming true.
Emphasizing that even if it is known to be a dream, people expect it as if it were real, experts emphasize that unfulfilled dreams cause pain in the person as if an arm or leg is broken.
At the 2017 Oscar Awards Ceremony, the confusion left the La La Land film crew disappointed. First, the team announced that they had won the Best Picture Award, but when it was revealed that the envelopes were mixed up, they learned that Moonlight had won the award. The joy of the La La Land team, who experienced great happiness, was cut short.
WHAT IS THE DISAPPOINTMENT WE ALL EXPERIENCE FROM TIME TO TIME? HOW DOES IT AFFECT US?
Psychiatry Specialist Assist. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Önen Ünsalver from Üsküdar University NP Feneryolu Polyclinic said that disappointments, which he defined as "the feeling of fracture created in the soul by the unrealization of the dream", are maturing experiences to perceive ourselves and the outside world more realistically.
OUR MIND DENIES NEGATIVE POSSIBILITIES
"Even though we know that dreams are dreams, we start to expect them as if they were real," Ünsalver said, "Our mind tends to ignore the possibility that especially positive dreams may not come true. For example, most people see themselves as more knowledgeable, more successful and more beautiful than they really are, and with this false belief about themselves, they believe that they deserve good things to happen to them. If a person has given himself permission to dream of good things happening to him, he denies those possibilities, even if there are concrete indications that that dream may be shattered. We need to be able to deny dreams in order to pursue them. Because the unrealization of dreams causes pain as if we have broken our arms and legs."
OUR BODY ALSO FEELS THE DISAPPOINTMENT
Stating that arm, leg pain and social rejection, humiliation and other sources of psychological pain are processed in the same area called "insula" in the brain, Asst. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Önen Ünsalver said, "For this reason, disappointment and accompanying feelings of anger, sadness, shame and shock are interpreted in the body as if our body is broken. We are beings who dislike and avoid pain. There is nothing strange about this. Who runs to pain on purpose? Pain because it can mean extinction," he said.
DREAMING INCREASES DOPAMINE IN THE BRAIN
So why do people experience disappointment? Assist. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Önen Ünsalver gives the answer to this question as follows:
"Because even though we know that the future is not yet here, we try to predict the future. If our predictions tell us that good things will happen to us, we feel happy, our energy increases, our body gets ready to run and jump, we feel strong. Because dopamine has increased in the brain. If there is an expectation of a possible reward, dopamine rises in the brain. But when the expectations are not realized, we feel like hitting a wall. Because at that moment, the human being is stretched like a rubber band ready to be thrown and ready to jump forward. When this happens, that is, when the engines suddenly stop, of course there may be feelings of anger, childish behavior, aggression, anger at oneself, shame and guilt."
Stating that disappointment can show behavioral changes for a few hours, a few days, a few weeks or even a few months in proportion to the size of the person's expectations and the number of people who witnessed the disappointment, Ünsalver said, "The person may withdraw inward and withdraw from everyone or turn outward excessively. If he can cope with disappointment over time, this will make him stronger. Disappointments are maturing experiences to perceive ourselves and the outside world more realistically. However, when they cannot be coped with, they can have negative consequences such as depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, suicide and substance use disorders."