Fears that arise during the emotional development of children can be guided by the right attitudes of parents.
Stating that children learn the feeling of fear by modeling it, experts suggest, "Instead of underestimating or ridiculing children's fears, it is necessary to help them overcome it."
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Specialist Clinical Psychologist Duygu Barlas said that fears that occur in childhood may vary according to age and developmental process.
FEARS ARE MOST COMMON BETWEEN THE AGES OF 2-5
Stating that various fears can emerge during the emotional development of children, Barlas noted that intelligence, age, gender, personality structure and environmental conditions are among the factors affecting fears. Stating that fears are frequently expressed by parents in the preschool period, especially between the ages of 2 and 5, Barlas said, "In this age range, fears of darkness, insects, dogs, witches / imaginary beings, thunder and being alone are generally seen. Children's imagination is quite active between the ages of 3 and 4. Depending on this situation, it is normal for children in this age range to fear the heroes on television and fairy tales, the dark and being alone. Various studies have reported that these fears are considered normal in this age range."
EVERY AGE HAS FEARS!
Noting that children's cognitive and emotional abilities develop as they get older, Barlas said that there are different fears for each age group and that these fears pass over time:
"Accordingly, fears become more realistic. Instead of the aforementioned fears, fears related to social life and academic situation appear between the ages of 7 and 13. Fears of not being successful enough in their lessons, being excluded by their friends and not being liked are common. These fears, which last from 7 to 13 years old, lose their effect as they get older. Approximately between the ages of 11 and 12, we see that most of these fears have lost their effect on the child."
DO NOT INSTILL FEAR BY THREATENING THE CHILD
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Duygu Barlas stated that the factors that cause fears vary and said, "Instilling fear by threatening the child is one of the main inappropriate attitudes. The best example of this can be: "If you do this again, I will take you to the doctor and give you an injection." Such an attitude creates fear of the doctor in the child. In addition, reading fairy tales and watching movies that are not compatible with the child's age can also cause fears. In addition to these, a negative event or experience that the child has gone through can cause various fears. Since children learn through modeling, they can also model an adult's fear of an object. For example, a mother who is afraid and disgusted by cats may unknowingly express this in front of her child, and in the child's mind, "cat" may change from a neutral creature to a "feared animal". Sometimes these fears can only be seen as a natural process due to the development of cognitive and emotional abilities over time."
ADVICE TO PARENTS
"It is important for parents to adopt an appropriate attitude in the face of these fears, which usually go away on their own," said Duygu Barlas and added, "It may be necessary to seek help from a specialist, especially for fears that begin to negatively affect the child's academic and social life. In addition to expert help, mothers and fathers also have duties" and listed their suggestions as follows:
"First of all, parents should not criticize and make fun of their children because of these fears. Saying sentences such as 'There is nothing to be afraid of, are you a baby, don't be silly, there is nothing to be afraid of' without caring about them will not be an effective method.
FEAR OF THE DARK
Instead of such attitudes, mothers and fathers should make it clear that they understand their children and show them that they can solve this problem together. For example, instead of forcing a child with a fear of the dark to sleep in the dark, it would be a better method to spend time with him/her in the dark or to buy a small night light that he/she can love.
ANIMAL FEAR
The solution to the common fear of dogs and cats is not to confront the child with the feared animal. This practice can be traumatizing as it is often not done appropriately. Instead, it should be taken into consideration that children learn by modeling and the feared animal should be loved in the presence of the child, the child should be taken to other children who play with this animal, or various tales, stories and movies about animals should be read to the child."