Should children see the sacrifice?
Should children be allowed to watch the sacrifice on Eid al-Adha? Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan answers this question as follows:
"Children up to the age of 7 should not be shown the slaughter if they do not want to. If the child wants to watch, the worship aspect and the spiritual aspect of the holiday should be explained. Eid is a period when neighbor and relative relations are strengthened and one-on-one good deeds are done." Üsküdar University Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that the sacrifice should not be shown to the child who does not want it on Eid al-Adha.
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that the fears experienced by children are caused by the behavior of their parents and said that if the sacrifice is to be shown to the child, the Feast of Sacrifice and its meaning should be explained to the child and said, "It is recommended not to show the sacrifice to the child if the child does not want it in children up to the age of 7. If everyone in the family leaves and the child wants it, it is absolutely necessary to inform the child. The reasons for sacrificing should be explained to the child in a way he/she can understand."
BE SURE TO INFORM THE CHILD
Pointing out that if the sacrifice, with which the child has an emotional bond, is suddenly slaughtered without informing the child, negative consequences are experienced, Tarhan said, "The sacrifice comes in advance, the child plays with the sacrificial animal, the child establishes an emotional bond with the sacrifice. When they lay the sacrificial animal down and slaughter it, it causes fear. There are children who do not eat meat just for this reason. If you make the child lie down and slaughter it in front of their eyes without informing them, it can have such negative consequences."
THE MEANING OF THE FEAST SHOULD BE EXPLAINED
Stating that Eid al-Adha should be explained to the child in order to avoid such negative consequences, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said:
"Since the sense of reality and abstract thought begins to develop in 7-year-old children, cultural learning comes to the fore. It should be explained that this is a religious duty and that it has a social dimension such as helping the poor. Information should be given about the culture of solidarity that emerges especially on Eid al-Adha. It should be explained that there are needy people who receive meat from one holiday to another, that the poor should be considered, and that it is a social worship.
Both the worship aspect and the spiritual dimension of Eid al-Adha should be explained and made mentally acceptable for the child. This also applies to children over the age of 7. It is necessary to ensure that they see sacrifice as a religious ritual, not as violence."
THE CHILD WHO IS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED IS AFRAID
Emphasizing that fears arise when the child is not mentally ready, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "It is necessary to explain to the child mentally and psychologically what sacrifice means and that shedding blood is not a pleasure. It is necessary to explain to the child that we consume animal foods to meet our protein needs not only on this holiday but also at other times. It is important to tell them that animals are fed and raised for this purpose, that they are slaughtered and consumed when the time comes, and that there is such a balance in the universe."
DO NOT PROJECT YOUR FEAR TO THE CHILD
Stating that parents reflect their own fears to the child, Prof. Dr. Tarhan said, "If the child is excessively afraid, parents should be self-critical about this. If there is a concern that the child will be traumatized, the child should never be put in that environment. If the parents are calm, the child will also be calm because the child looks at mom and dad. If the parents perform normal rituals, the child will also be calm. If the reason for Eid al-Adha is explained patiently and calmly, the child will be convinced. By looking at the body language of the parents, either trust or fear is formed."
EID IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH CHILDREN KINDNESS AND COMPASSION!
Stating that children should be given responsibilities related to life, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also stated that Eid is important in terms of teaching emotions such as compassion and kindness and made the following evaluations:
"Children need to be taught how to cope with bad emotions and the concept of compassion. The balance of freedom and responsibility needs to be taught. The responsibilities of life should be given to the child from an early age. Eid is an opportunity for this. Eid contributes to the socialization of the child. Especially Eid is a period when neighbor and relative relations are strengthened and one-to-one good deeds are done. Eid is a time when people help people they don't know. The child also learns to do good in this period. Doing good is such an emotion that it makes both the other party and the doer happy. Our forgotten traditions such as helping each other and making visits on Eid are instrumental in the child's learning about life.
LONELINESS IS THE BIGGEST PSYCHOSOCIAL PROBLEM!
The biggest problem of this period, which we encounter in child psychiatry and in the world, is the loneliness of people. Loneliness is the biggest psychosocial problem, even one of the biggest causes of Alzheimer's is loneliness. Elderly people being alone at an advanced age negatively affects their mental health and makes it easier for them to develop Alzheimer's. It is necessary to remember and visit the elderly and to accustom children to this. In some countries of the world, children are given certain tasks in this sense, they are asked to visit and serve the elderly. This is already in our culture, but we are abandoning it."
HOLIDAYS SHOULD BE A PERIOD OF SHARING, NOT ENTERTAINMENT!
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "Holidays mean increasing social capital" and added, "Social capital is the wide network of social relations of people. Not only professional and business life, but also close relationships and relatives in other social life are social capital. One should not wait for a disaster for charity, the sick, the elderly, the oppressed and the lonely should be visited on the occasion of the holiday. Eid is a time to remember these disadvantaged people. When we do this, holidays become appropriate to their meaning. Eids should not only be a time of fun, but also a time of sharing. At the root of the word "sacrifice" is the meaning of getting closer, it is the effort of man to get closer to the creator. The purpose is not only to slaughter animals. The purpose is to give meaning to one's life. It is a search for meaning in existence."