Pointing out that self-confidence in children starts to develop from infancy, experts said, "The development of the core of self-confidence is achieved in the first years of life. The child starts to feel that he/she is valuable in the period between the ages of 0-1."
It was emphasized that education in the preschool period has very important contributions to strengthening self-confidence.
Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Assist. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten from Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital said that self-confidence in children starts to develop from infancy.
Defining self-confidence as "the value that a person places on himself", Assist. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten stated that in order for a child's self-worth to progress positively, it is necessary to talk from birth and said, "The core of self-worth is determined in the first 2 years of the child, and continues to be determined in the following process. The development of self-worth continues in adolescence and even in the years after adolescence. But basically, the development of that core is achieved in the first years of life. One year after the child is born is the most important period for the formation of a basic sense of trust."
Stating that the child starts to feel that he/she is valuable in the period between the ages of 0-1, Assist. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Gökten said, "The baby is very dependent on the mother or caregiver during this period. It cannot meet its own needs, it has some physical needs and this is met by the mother or caregiver. The only way for him to express himself is to cry. When he cries, the mother tries to feel his needs. She tries to understand whether he is crying because he is hungry or because his diaper is dirty. It is very important that the baby's needs are met."
MOTHER SHOULD BE HAPPY FIRST
Stating that during this period, the mother may experience problems called puerperium or postpartum depression and may not receive social support, Asst. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten said, "Such problems can inevitably affect the care and quality of care that the mother gives to the baby. For this reason, it is very important to provide mental and social support to a postpartum mother. In other words, it is very important not to leave the mother alone during that period, especially for the elders to support the mother in caring for the baby. We always say that first the mother will feel good, happy and joyful, then she can give quality care to her child. She can give her real love and care."
AFTER 1 YEAR OF AGE IT IS NECESSARY TO SET RULES
Stating that after the age of 1, the baby starts to progress in terms of motor development and starts to walk, Gökten said, "The child is still dependent on the mother for his needs, but at the same time, he starts to taste the freedom to do things on his own. After the age of 1 year, motor development accelerates and the baby begins to feel that he/she is a separate being from the mother. In the first year of life, the baby does not realize that it is a separate entity. He feels as if he is an extension of the mother, but later, as he starts to act as a separate and independent being, he thinks 'Yes, I am a separate being, he is the mother, I am someone else'."
LISTEN TO THESE SUGGESTIONS
Reminding that in this period, small little stubbornness and insistence begin and that this is a purely developmental process, Gökten stated that rules should be set from the age of 1, but some points should be paid attention to here and made the following recommendations:
"Sometimes families are very worried and complain during this period. In fact, this is a natural reflection of brain development. We see more or less similar behaviors in every child during this period. Parents should be knowledgeable during this period, they should know that this is not a disorder, that the child is not doing it to put them in a difficult situation and they should approach accordingly.
In this period, it is also necessary to gradually start setting limits for the child. In the first year of life, we don't need to set limits yet. At that time, we meet their needs, show interest and love, and pay attention to body contact. After 1 year of age, we need to show that there is a limit to the child who is gradually becoming more active. Therefore, we also need to say no to some things. But at the points where we say no, the child starts to get stubborn. It is important to set limits, but we will not set limits every second.
When we are neutral, we will play games, we will show our love, but we will also say no when necessary.
When they insist, we need to know how to stand behind our words, not by shouting too much, but by being clear, explaining the reason, saying 'This is how it has to be' and not backing down. At this age, of course, it is not easy to explain rules to children, there is no need to explain for a long time, and this is not right anyway. We show what is right or wrong with our behavior.
Our smiling at a positive behavior serves to teach the child that it is a positive behavior, we reinforce it. In a negative behavior, our clearer facial expression and saying no teaches him that he should not continue it.
We contribute to the development of his/her self-confidence by smiling, kissing him/her, hugging him/her, telling him/her that we love him/her. But we should never say words like "I don't love you" when they do something wrong. In other words, when showing love to children, it is very important to make them feel that it is completely unconditional, "I love you if you behave right, but not if you behave wrong" is not the right approach. On the contrary, it is very important to give the feeling that "no matter what happens, I love you very much, you are my child, I am always with you, I am behind you".
Stating that children start to socialize slowly in the preschool period and that education is very important in this period, Assist. Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten said, "The self-evaluation of children who receive education in kindergartens in the preschool period can be much more positive, because these children start to socialize early. They develop socially much faster by establishing different relationships with different people, which contributes to the development of a more positive self-worth."
THE CHILD'S STRENGTHS SHOULD BE SUPPORTED
Stating that self-confidence is not a concept alone, but is related to a child's skills in many areas, Assist. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten said, "As children grow up, some of their characteristics gradually emerge. Every child has strengths as well as weaknesses. No child can be perfect in everything. Not every skill can be super. He may be skilled in certain subjects, but he may be weaker in others. It is necessary to give opportunities for him to improve his weaknesses if he wants to, but while evaluating him, it is necessary to support his strengths more."