The "mother", who is the first person with whom a child establishes a relationship when he/she is born, determines the direction of the new relationships that the child will establish later in life. A person who establishes a secure, love and respect-based relationship with his/her mother grows up as a mentally healthier individual. Stating that children should grow up in a peaceful family environment in order to become self-sufficient, secure and mentally healthy individuals, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten said, "In the mother-child relationship, love, affection and trust should be established first, and limits and rules should be imposed on it."
[haberyatay=takintinti-75-yasinda-basabilir]
Every year, the 2nd Sunday of May is celebrated as "Mother's Day". "Mother", the most important role model in the child's life, determines the basis of new relationships to be established.
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Child - Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten made important evaluations about the importance of mother-child relationship.
Mother-child relationship determines the quality of new relationships
"When a child is born, the first person with whom he/she establishes a relationship is his/her mother or the caregiver who replaces her. A healthy mother-child relationship is very important for the quality of the new relationships that the child will establish in later life. A person who establishes a secure, love and respect-based relationship with his/her mother becomes a mentally healthier individual." said Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten,
"In order for children to become self-sufficient, secure and mentally healthy individuals, they need to grow up in a peaceful family environment, receive sufficient love, affection and attention from their parents, and learn that there are some limits and rules in life."
Relationships should be built on love, affection and trust
Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten said, "Meeting the needs of the baby in the first year after birth and raising it with love and attention helps the child to develop a basic sense of trust. It is necessary not only to meet their physical needs but also to show love and affection" and continued her words as follows:
"It has been shown that the language, cognitive and social skills of the babies of mothers who establish a relationship with their babies by talking to them from the moment they are born develop better. After the child starts to walk, he/she gradually begins to feel his/her individual existence more and more and enters a period of stubbornness with the mother. During this period, the mother should not be too anxious and should allow the child to separate. Over time, the child should be taught that there are some limits. Every child needs some limitations in the environment they live in. Therefore, to summarize, first love, affection and trust should be established and then limits and rules should be imposed. Parents should be able to establish a balance between democratic behavior and discipline. In establishing this balance, it is very important that the mother and father act together, work as a team and give similar messages to the child.
The responsibility of the child should not be left solely to the mother!
In patriarchal societies like ours, the process of raising a child is considered to be the mother's duty and the father has a very low role in this relationship. This situation causes the mother to be burdened with too many responsibilities and therefore to be worn out and exhausted. The exhausted mother becomes more intolerant, quick-tempered and her relationship with the child begins to suffer. Leaving the responsibility and care of the children entirely to the mother may negatively affect the mental health of the child. Fathers or close family members should continue to support the mother and allow her to rest from time to time.
What are the wrong behaviors in the mother-child relationship?
Every mother may feel exhausted and exhausted from time to time while raising a child. Scientific studies have shown that families of all socioeconomic levels can show negative parental attitudes from time to time. What we call negative parental attitudes are behaviors such as threatening, yelling and hitting. In order to minimize these negative behaviors, parents should act together, raise their children with love and care, reinforce their positive behaviors, teach new skills and behaviors, and set basic rules within the family and act together to implement these rules.
[newsyatay=children's-psychology-couples'-relationship-distorts]
Create an environment of love, care and affection for your child first
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Child - Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Assoc. Prof. Dr. Emel Sarı Gökten summarized her recommendations for mothers as follows
"I recommend that mothers first create an environment full of love, care and compassion for their children. A peaceful home should be transformed into a place full of safe and interesting activities for children. We should be parents who can respond immediately when children need help. However, when they need to wait, we should thank them for waiting and then help them with their needs. We should appreciate the behaviors we see positively. Behavior that is appreciated is more likely to be repeated. We should set an example for our children with our behavior and speech, and teach them new skills and behaviors. We should have basic family rules at home; when we give instructions, we should give clear, understandable and calm instructions, and we should be determined that our children fulfill these instructions. Children raised with positive family attitudes become individuals with strong social skills, self-confidence and happiness."
