Overcome the start of school syndrome in 12 steps!
The little ones who will be going to school for the first time this year are experiencing great excitement. Their parents are experiencing complex emotions as much as the children. Experts emphasize that school syndrome is not caused by the child but by the parents, and that this syndrome can be overcome in 12 steps.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Leyla Arslan from Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Brain Hospital said that parents often experience anxiety during this period when the child will go to a social institution outside the home for the first time, which is normal.
QUESTIONS WITH UNKNOWN ANSWERS CAUSE ANXIETY
Leyla Arslan stated that the answers to the questions "Which school should we prefer, will he like his teacher, how is the school hygiene, will he be able to adapt with other children, what will they teach him, will they make him sleep, will he eat, will his friends beat him, will he be able to play games, will he be able to eat, what will happen if he cannot go to the toilet on his own?" that parents ask themselves are often unclear:
"Not knowing the answers to these questions frightens families. If the family does not have confidence that the child can cope with such problems, it means that both the child and the family are not ready for the child to go to school. If the child is self-caring, has regular sleep and meal times at home, and has already tried staying with close relatives outside the home, school will be fun for him/her and he/she will be able to leave the family without any problems because he/she is not yet old enough to know fear."
ADULTS ARE THE SOURCE OF THE SYNDROME
Stating that school syndrome is not caused by the child but by the parents, Specialist Psychologist Leyla Arslan said, "If the family experiences fears that the child will be harmed or lost at school, the child takes these feelings and develops anxiety that he/she will never return home. If the child develops such anxiety, he/she makes his/her parents wait at the school gate. This delays the emotional bonding that the child needs to establish with his/her teacher and friends. This situation also negatively affects other students."
IN WHICH CASE HELP IS NEEDED!
Stating that every child has problems on the first day of school, Leyla Arslan said that if this situation does not change within a week, it is possible to say that there is a problem. "If a month has passed and the child is reluctant to go to school, crying, getting angry at everything, not eating, increasing complaints such as pain, nausea and vomiting, it is time to get help," Arslan said, noting that the child can overcome this situation quickly in nursery and kindergarten, but if the problem is not solved, the same problem may occur when starting primary school.
SOMETIMES IT MAY BE NECESSARY TO CHANGE THE SCHOOL!
Arslan said that in order to talk about school starting syndrome, the child should have abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, disturbed sleep patterns, reluctance, irritability and nervousness even though the child does not have a physical illness. "If this situation is sometimes very severe, it may be necessary not to insist on giving the child to school and to change the school. However, the reason for taking the child out of school should not be attributed to these behavioral changes in the child so that the child does not learn that he/she will not go to school if he/she behaves like this."
12 TIPS FOR PARENTS
Expert Clinical Psychologist Leyla Arslan listed the following suggestions for overcoming school syndrome:
1-Prefer the school closest to home.
2-Before taking the child to school, get to know the school and the teacher.
3-When taking the child to school, there should not be too much explanation about what the child will experience there. This increases the child's anxiety level. In short, it should be said "You will have a teacher and friends".
4- Explanations such as "We will wait for you in the garden until you allow us to, when you get used to it, you can tell us to go", "We will come to pick you up again, we will not leave you anywhere, even at school" should be made.
5-"We cannot sit in the classroom, it does not comply with school rules".
6-To appear calm and relaxed. This also affects the child positively.
7- In the first days, the child should stay at school for a while and be told "that's it for today" and this time should be gradually increased.
8- If the child does not go to school, he/she should not be given the option of staying at home.
9- If a sibling is to be born, the child should be accustomed to school 6 months before the birth. This way, he/she will not feel the threat that his/her sibling will take his/her mother away.
10-If possible, the mother should take the child one day and the father one day.
11-The underlying reason for children not wanting to go to school should be investigated. These can be; having problems with friends, being teased with their clothes, teacher's behavior, disliking food, not wanting to sleep, etc.
12-The feelings of the child with school syndrome should be discussed, persuasion should be tried and if necessary, help from an expert should be sought."