What is Anxious Attachment? Why Does It Happen?

What is Anxious Attachment? Why Does It Happen?

Anxious attachment stands out as an attachment style in which the individual experiences constant fear of rejection and abandonment in relationships. This attachment style usually emerges as a result of not receiving sufficient emotional support from parents during childhood or not growing up in a consistent environment of trust. Individuals with anxious attachment show hypersensitivity, dependency and a constant search for reassurance in their relationships.

In order to cope with the fear of rejection, they may constantly seek approval in their relationships and this may create imbalance in the relationship. Emotional fluctuations are one of the difficulties that individuals with anxious attachment often face in their relationships.

What are Attachment Styles in Relationships?

Attachment styles in relationships are concepts that define how people are emotionally attached and their behavior patterns in relationships. Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby, provides a basic framework to explain these styles. Basic attachment styles:

Secure Attachment

Secure attachment is defined as an attachment style in which the individual feels comfortable with themselves and their partner. These individuals can establish a healthy balance between trust, closeness and independence in their relationships. Securely attached people feel comfortable expressing their emotional needs and respond sensitively to the emotional needs of their partners.

Anxious Attachment

Anxious attachment emerges as an attachment style in which the individual experiences constant fear of abandonment or rejection. These individuals show hypersensitivity, dependency and a constant search for approval in their relationships. They may be overly dependent on their partner's attention and may have difficulty coping with uncertainty in their relationships.

Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant attachment is an attachment style in which the individual tends to avoid closeness. These individuals generally focus on their independence and freedom and tend to stay emotionally distant. They avoid emotional expressions to protect their independence and freedom in relationships.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

Fearful-avoidant attachment is a combination of both anxious and avoidant traits. These people may have low self-esteem and at the same time tend to be overly trusting of their partner. This contradictory attachment style can lead to complex emotional dynamics in their relationships.

What are the Symptoms of Anxious Attachment?

Anxious attachment manifests itself as an attachment style in which the individual experiences constant fear of rejection and abandonment in relationships. Individuals with this attachment style exhibit prominent symptoms in their relationships. Here are the symptoms of anxious attachment:

Fear of Rejection: Anxiously attached individuals constantly worry about abandonment or rejection. Uncertainties in their relationships with their partners can cause intense anxiety for them.

Overdependence: People with anxious attachment style may be overly dependent on their partners. They may constantly seek approval and reassurance from their partners.

Emotional Fluctuations: They experience emotional fluctuations in their relationships. A small uncertainty or worry can immediately cause intense emotional reactions. The ups and downs in the relationship are evident.

Constant Seeking Approval: Anxiously attached individuals constantly need external approval. They feel the need to constantly check the love and attention from their partner.

Intense Need for Relationship: They are in constant search for contact and support in close relationships. They may expect their partners to be with them constantly and situations that do not meet these needs may cause anxiety.

Sensitivity and Skepticism: Anxiously attached individuals may be overly sensitive to their partner's behavior. Even small events can cause a big emotional reaction. At the same time, they tend to question and doubt their partner's loyalty.

Separation Anxiety: They experience uneasiness when separated from their partner. Separation anxiety can cause intense thoughts and worries when they are physically separated.

What Causes Anxious Attachment?

Anxious attachment often emerges as an attachment style that stems from parent-child interactions and experiences during childhood. Inconsistent parental behavior, emotional neglect and inadequacy, separation experiences, conflicts between parents, restriction of emotional expression, constantly changing caregivers, child abuse or traumatic experiences are among the factors that are effective in the formation of anxious attachment.

These factors may make it difficult for the child to develop a sense of secure attachment and may affect relationships in adulthood. Symptoms of anxious attachment include fear of rejection, over-dependence, emotional fluctuations, constant approval seeking, separation anxiety, sensitivity and suspiciousness.

This attachment style may cause individuals to have difficulty in expressing their emotional needs and to cope with uncertainty in their relationships. Therefore, therapy and supportive methods may be important in coping with anxious attachment and developing healthy relationship dynamics.

Anxious Attachment Treatment

The treatment of anxious attachment focuses on understanding one's emotional world and developing healthy relationship dynamics. In this process, developing awareness, relationship analysis, improving communication skills, examining past traumas, learning boundary-setting skills, developing empathy and self-compassion play an important role. Treatment is usually administered as individual or couple therapy.

Understanding the individual's anxious attachment style, confronting past experiences and gaining healthy communication skills are the main goals in the treatment process. These methods aim to alleviate the symptoms of anxious attachment by helping the individual to establish secure, healthy and satisfying relationships.

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Created At06 March 2024
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