Tolerance is not suppressing emotions...
Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, stating that individuals' tolerant behavior in their relations with the environment and themselves makes them both happy and successful, points out that the most important point in tolerance is "measured attitude". Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "One should not confuse suppressing one's emotions with being tolerant. Tolerance does not mean saying "yes" to everything the other party says. Tolerance and dialog are complementary concepts."
November 16 is commemorated as the International Day of Tolerance in honor of the anniversary of the founding of UNESCO. Founded on 16 November 1945, UNESCO's founding idea is based on the premise that wars can only be prevented if people get to know each other better and understand that what unites them through their productive cultural diversity is more than what divides them. In 1995, UNESCO adopted the Declaration of Principles on Tolerance, which emphasizes that tolerance is the building block of sustainable citizenship in a globalizing world where people from different cultures and walks of life exist, photographs and information are widespread.
Üsküdar University Rector, Psychiatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that tolerance is one of the values that can be considered as the sister of humility.
"The opposite of tolerance is being strict. And behind rigidity lies self-centeredness." Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "In self-centeredness, there is rigidity of thought. Since thoughts are not flexible, the person prioritizes his/her own wishes and expectations, not the other party. He cannot ignore the mistakes of his interlocutor. Tolerance means giving the other party the right to make mistakes. It is not possible for a person to be right all the time; tolerance means that a person establishes a balance between other people's interests and his/her own interests and gives other people the initiative and the right to speak."
Tolerance destroys prejudices
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that tolerance is the most eroded value today, when narcissism is so high and self-centeredness is so obvious: "Self-centeredness reinforces prejudices. It directs the person towards oppression and authoritarian practices instead of logical thinking and tries to find solutions to problems with authoritarian practices. However, what needs to be done is to solve problems with the help of logical thoughts. Prejudices prevent logical thinking. Tolerance is needed to eliminate prejudices. When a prejudiced person is criticized, he/she approaches the criticizer as "This is my enemy", while a tolerant person thinks "Maybe he/she knows something too". Tolerance is important for social communication; tolerance enables people to understand each other correctly."
Suppressing emotions is not tolerance
Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that people's tolerant behavior in their relations with the environment and themselves makes them both happy and successful and said, "What is important at this point is that the person can display a measured attitude. One should not confuse suppressing one's emotions with being tolerant. Tolerance does not mean saying "yes" to everything the other party says. Tolerance and dialog are complementary concepts."
Dialogue is a must for tolerance
Drawing attention to the need for dialogue in order to put tolerance into practice, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, "When there is dialogue, tolerance is put into practice. For example, when a new drug is discovered, it cannot be claimed to be good until it is used on people and its benefits and risks are seen. Tolerance is also a nice-sounding word, but it needs to be put into practice, into dialogue, and the results of its application need to be seen. For this reason, tolerance and dialogue should be evaluated together."
Tolerance is respect for different ideas
Tolerance is also used in society for tolerance. It means tolerating different opinions of people on the other side. About 250 years ago, Voltaire's quote "I don't agree with anything you say, but I will defend your right to say it until my dying day" is the best example of positive tolerance. This behavior is also a sign of self-confidence. People who are confident in their own opinion are open to tolerance and dialog."
Positive tolerance should be at the forefront in marriages
Stating that there are differences and similarities in human relationships, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan stated that positive tolerance should come to the fore especially in marriage and concluded his words as follows
"A tolerant person tries to establish a relationship with the other person based on similarities, not differences. But a person with poor tolerance acts by seeing differences, not similarities. For example, an intolerant person sees one wrong behavior, not 10 good behaviors. These are narcissistic people. They exalt their own egos and devalue the egos of others. Intolerant people also have perfectionism. They pretend to be humble and expect perfection from the other person. This is due to hidden arrogance and is one of the biggest problems in marriage. If husband and wife try to correct each other and make each other like themselves, the other person feels bad and conflict arises. However, if everyone tries to correct and improve themselves; if they dialog not with their differences but with their similarities, a "we" consciousness is created. For dialog to occur in marriage, positive tolerance must come to the forefront. Trying to understand the other party based on their similarities is an effective method to be used here."