The relationship with the father designs the future of the child

The relationship with the father designs the future of the child

Every year, the third Sunday of June is celebrated as Father's Day.

Üsküdar University NP Etiler Medical Center Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi explained the role of the father in the family and his importance on the development of the child.

The child's first model: Mother and father

Stating that the first role models of a child are his/her parents, Elçi said that children imitate their parents and try to be like them. Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi said the following:

"If there is a mother who is abusive in the face of problems at home, the boy learns that this is the way to solve problems and may exhibit similar behaviors in his own family. For the girl child, men may be perceived as an unreliable, damaging gender and may cause her to lose her basic trust in the fair world. In order to receive the love and affection that she cannot receive from her father, she may tend to establish emotional relationships with older people. The children of a father who protects, cares and reinforces his power with love rather than violence will show similar behavior in the home they will establish. This shows how big a role we parents play in making the world more livable."

The child first realizes the outside world with his/her father

Stating that the first person the baby realizes that there is someone else in the world is the "father", Serkan Elçi said: "Mostly this is known as the mother, but the baby sees himself and his mother as a 'whole'. Therefore, the active presence of the father is the first introduction to the outside world and shows him that the world is a place to be trusted. The presence of other people is parallel to the love, positive communication and unconditional acceptance from the father."

Children who do not communicate with their fathers have difficulty in learning to share

Emphasizing that a child whose only communication in the family is with the mother will have difficulty learning to share, Serkan Elçi said, "When a child begins to see himself as an individual separate from the mother, the first sharing is sharing the mother with the father. Rather than learning to share when there is a sibling, a family where positive family relationships are established and love maps are created will of course teach sharing. According to Freud, the development of sexual identity is completed by the age of 6. At this age, the male child expresses that he sees the father as a rival to get the mother. However, with his love for the father and thinking that he is a stronger figure, he begins to 'identify' with the father and competition is replaced by truth. The same theory claims that the child learns trust from the mother and power and control from the father. The inconsistent behavior of the first figure to provide this control, the father, will also damage the relationships he will establish in the future."

Healthy relationship with father improves mood

Stating that a healthy relationship with the father leads to a healthy state of mind, Serkan Elçi said, "Strong communication not only in childhood but also in adulthood helps to overcome many problems. It is important to know that there is someone who will always make you feel his support and presence, who will accept you unconditionally, and it is important to remember how much the word 'I am with you' from the father carries great meaning even in adversities."

Appreciation from the father increases the child's self-confidence

"In the eyes of every child, the father is the strongest, most intelligent person in the world who can handle everything. When someone who has sanctified the father so much receives appreciation from him, he receives the message that he can 'overcome' in every job he enters," said Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi, emphasizing that this will increase the child's self-confidence and that he will see the benefits in both his social and academic life.

People with low self-esteem cannot be happy

Underlining that the concepts of self-confidence and happiness are parallel to each other, Serkan Elçi said: "It is not possible for someone with low self-confidence to be happy. Let's think about what makes a person happy; professional or academic achievements, positive social and emotional relationships are the most basic ones. Therefore, the person who has self-confidence has also acquired the key to happiness" and drew attention to the importance of self-confidence.

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Updated At05 March 2024
Created At14 June 2018
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