If obsessive love doesn't heal, support should be sought...
In obsessive loves, behavioral disorders, anxiety disorders, depression, dependent personality traits, obsessive personality structure and a tendency to perceive and interpret events in a different way than they really are are generally seen. Stating that our romantic relationships are a process that extends from infancy to our current lives, but the foundation is laid in our past lives, experts draw attention to the importance of receiving psychological support.
Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital Specialist Clinical Psychologist Aziz Görkem Çetin said that according to psychologists, love is both a normal and neurotic concept.
Stating that it is very difficult to make a clear definition of love, Çetin said, "As a matter of fact, every field or individual has a definition of love. According to us psychologists, love is both normal and neurotic. According to a literary critic, it may include longing and inability to meet."
CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS CAUSE
Aziz Görkem Çetin stated that what is expected in a person in love is happiness, but obsessive love causes anxiety instead of happiness. Çetin explained the reasons for obsessive love as follows:
"When we think in a psychological context, it is the lack of sufficient attention and love in terms of caregiving and emotion during the infancy of the individual and the inability to create a secure bond in the first step of the relationship. Children who have not been able to form this bond show unhealthy behaviors such as crying, anxiety, fear and hugging their mother tightly or vice versa when they leave their mother's side. Failure to establish a secure bond with the mother or caregiver affects the person's future romantic relationships. Feelings of worthlessness and traumas experienced in childhood also lead to obsessive love."
CONSTANT CONTROL IS A SIGN OF OBSESSIVE LOVE
Stating that the person experiencing obsessive love does not trust the person he loves and will constantly think that he will leave him, Çetin said, "It occupies his mind with bad thoughts. It takes some actions to get rid of this emotional turmoil and to relieve itself. These actions can be positive or negative actions depending on the person. For example, he/she performs actions to constantly try the other person. She constantly checks where she is and who she is with. He tries to make sure whether the other person loves him or not."
Stating that obsessive love is an unhealthy condition, Aziz Görkem Çetin said, "Obsessive love is the person's obsession with a real or unattainable love, devoting his own self to it and shaping his life in this context. Experiencing very intense feelings for the other person will cause rapid ups and downs in the emotional context. Following such a mood, the individual may harm both himself and others. In general terms, we can characterize everything that will cause functionality in the daily life of the individual as unhealthy."
FLUCTUATING EMOTIONS ARE EXPERIENCED
Referring to the fact that people who experience obsessive love experience a wide range of emotions, Çetin said the following:
"The person experiencing obsessive love believes that he/she will only be happy with the person he/she is in love with and does not want the person he/she is in love with to be happy without him/her while he/she is unhappy. We can think of it like this; the person has actually fallen in love with the meaning and expectations they have created for the person by creating an intellectual illusion. This intense expectation makes the person's emotions fluctuate up and down. Such ambivalent emotions may cause the person to make unhealthy and spontaneous decisions. If the obsession increases gradually, consequences such as violence against the person in love, murder, rape or self-murder can occur. The most common trigger of obsessive love is the lack of reciprocation. The person who is rejected emotionally or physically may make intense efforts to make himself/herself accepted."
BEHAVIOR DISORDER MAY BE OBSERVED
Stating that obsessive love is a condition that requires treatment, Aziz Görkem Çetin said, "Since it is a condition related to personality structuring, it would be more appropriate to receive support for individual psychotherapy. In obsessive loves, behavioral disorders, anxiety disorders, depression, dependent personality traits, obsessive personality structure and a tendency to perceive and interpret events in a different way than they are. It is of great importance that individuals with psychological problems in this situation receive expert support."
PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT MAY BE REQUIRED
Stating that our romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships are a process that extends from infancy to our current lives, but the foundation is laid in our past lives, Çetin said, "For this reason, it is very important to get psychological support. If the problems we experience in this way maintain their intensity, it is very useful not to leave it to time but to get expert support. Considering that every emotion and thought we experience is related to our past, it is important to face, accept and realize it instead of covering it up. Instead of adding false defense mechanisms to our thoughts and feelings, trying to resolve them through an expert means that we own our feelings and thoughts."
LOVE AND VIOLENCE CANNOT BE TOGETHER
Emphasizing that the concept of violence can never be mentioned in love, Çetin said, "While defining a healthy relationship, we can also make it based on the absence of violence. In some relationships, we see the concepts of love and violence together. Such relationships do not progress in a healthy way. Individuals can reflect their anxiety, fear, trust, lack of self-confidence and similar concepts in their relationships as violence."
TURN TO SOCIAL ACTIVITIES
Expert Clinical Psychologist Aziz Görkem Çetin made the following suggestions to people who experience obsessive love: "Situations such as not being able to add meaning to one's life, working in an unsatisfactory job, not having a good social environment, existential questions, feelings of meaninglessness and emptiness, lack of self-confidence, fragility, failure lead to a general anxiety in the person. They can direct this anxiety to the love they have created in their minds and express it in this way. He wants to put an end to the meaninglessness in his life and fill the emptiness inside to add meaning. What can be done individually is to make sense of your individual and psychological needs in your life and channel them into your life in a healthy way. For this, you can benefit from social activities and activities that you enjoy doing. In addition, expert support will accelerate the process and help you to make your life quality."
Expert Clinical Psychologist Aziz Görkem Çetin also said to people who are obsessed with obsessive love: "One of the characteristics seen in people who experience obsessive love is that the person in love has unattainable or unequal characteristics. If you obsessively think that someone is in love with you, it is necessary to switch to an empathic form of communication. You need to use clear statements to the other party with your statements and behaviors and set a level boundary from the beginning."