Pointing out that the classical roles of men and women in marriage have started to change with the increase in the level of education and economic power of women today, Üsküdar University Sociology Department Faculty Member Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Erdoğan said that roles in marriages have started to be renegotiated. Noting that with the empowerment of women, physical violence against women will tend to increase for a while, Erdoğan emphasized that this problem should be solved through conflict and negotiation without resorting to physical violence.
Üsküdar University Sociology Department Faculty Member Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Erdoğan pointed out that with the transition to modern society, men have lost their former power and said the following:
"From before the 19th century until the current times, economic power was in the hands of men, they could do anything they said, and women were assigned certain roles within this order. Everyone was playing their roles, there was no problem. Over time, with increasing educational opportunities, the gap between the education of men and women began to close. Differences in many areas started to close and men started to reject this situation. Because the old roles started to be renegotiated. Now women are conscious and that consciousness will always go forward. On the other hand, women now also have economic power. Before, the man used to bring money and provide economic satisfaction to the family. This situation has now become equalizable. Then it is necessary to renegotiate roles."
"Women have started to wage war"
Stating that men experience a crisis as they lose the role and power that society has assigned to them for thousands of years, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Erdoğan said, "With technological developments, the need for men's muscle power has disappeared. Women started to have power and position in every field. As the man loses his power against women day by day, he is experiencing a crisis. As he experiences a crisis, he starts to use his physique, physical violence, which is the best method he knows, which comes from patriarchal, thousands of years of learning. There is a social development. As the means of production change, as informatics develops, change continues, but social norms and learned practices do not change in a day. This requires generations. The crisis of masculinity in our age has made violence against women more visible."
Stating that men in developed, industrialized countries have not yet been able to keep up with these developments, Erdoğan said, "Of course, less industrialized countries are further behind in terms of gender discrimination. Maybe in two or four generations this situation will be equalized, but as the awareness of women in Turkey increases, as the level of education and income increases, violence against women will tend to increase at least for a while. Because women are now aware of inequality and have started to fight for equality."
"Conflict destroys physical violence"
Noting that physical violence will not occur where there is negotiation, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Erdoğan said: "In fact, it is a good thing to have conflict at the point where it does not lead to violence. If a real conflict can be negotiated, there is no physical violence. We can think of it like the steam in a pressure cooker. The steam builds up and builds up. What happens if we don't degas it? It explodes. Relationships are like that, we need to let off steam from time to time, sometimes by talking about the storms inside us, sometimes by fighting, but verbally fighting. If this happens, there is no need for violence. So conflict destroys physical violence. And this is a healthy situation.
"The nuclear family is changing shape"
Pointing out that the family is a dynamic phenomenon and can change over time, Üsküdar University Sociology Department Faculty Member Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Erdoğan said: "The family has not had a single system or a single form in the world throughout history. Today, we talk about the nuclear family experiencing a crisis. We were worried about the collapse of the traditional family before. The traditional family was largely destroyed because it had lost its function. It could not meet the needs of the age. What we see as a problem now is that the nuclear family is experiencing a similar problem. The nuclear family is struggling to respond to the new needs of the new society at the dawn of Industry 4.0. On the other hand, just as the traditional family has not completely disappeared, the nuclear family will not disappear completely, the institution of the family will continue to exist in the future, but the classical family forms that we have known or been accustomed to until now will gradually begin to change shape. We can make this prediction with what sociology teaches us."
"Both men and women are trying to maximize their profits in the relationship"
Referring to the main reasons for the increase in divorce, Assoc. Prof. Dr. Barış Erdoğan said, "In a nuclear family format or in a traditional family where traditional rules work, even before we got married, we knew what our roles would be when we got married. Now there is a new contract every day. Now the role of the man has also changed. In the new era, men are also starting to fight for their own roles. They think, 'If I am losing my power against women, then I don't want to take on my old responsibilities fully, I don't have to work as much as I used to. Since life is common'. Women, on the other hand, think, 'Since you can make decisions on your own, I can do the same, I can organize my life the way I want'. Everyone is trying to gain new advantages while at the same time trying to preserve their advantageous situation in the past. Let's say both sides are trying to maximize their profits, so to speak. On the other hand, the man says 'I want to change my roles now'. 'I don't have as much economic power as before. That's all you can expect from me'. If we come to the woman side, she can also say 'now that I also earn money, I also have an education, I also have a perspective on life, I also have a social circle, I do not prefer to have children for my career or I want to have a say about the direction of the family or relationship'."
"The meaning of the word divorce has changed"
Emphasizing that our understanding of the value of divorce in society has also changed, Erdoğan said, "Until recently, being divorced was a bad thing for both men and women in the eyes of society. It was a failure. Now, almost the meaning of the word divorce has changed. Divorce is starting to be seen as a second chance, a new door to life, a new page. The meanings we give to divorce have also started to change. While the society used to look at divorced women in a worse way, now they look at them as ordinary, normal, possible, not getting along, divorced. This creates a relief there," he said.