Punishment in toilet training leads to depression
Parents' obstructive, protective and interventionist approach is harmful to children who experience the pleasure of discovering the world and having it.
Aynur Sayım from Üsküdar University NPİSTANBUL Feneryolu Polyclinic emphasizes that the 2-3 age period is the years when the child becomes aware of himself and the outside world, learning and exploring the outside world, and warns that the parents' obstructive, protective and interventionist approach is harmful to children who experience the pleasure of discovering the world and having it. Sayım states that during this period, parents should take the necessary security measures for the child, give the child the opportunity to realize himself/herself and offer him/her a space.
"There are critical periods in child development. The age of 2-3 is one of these periods. The trust relationship that the child establishes with his/her mother or caregiver represents the relationship style and trust that the child establishes with all people throughout his/her life. In this sense, the first 3 years are very important in development. The baby wants his/her mother to fulfill all his/her needs and needs to be fed when hungry, cleaned when dirty, tactile contact and loving looks. If these needs are fulfilled on time and without delay, the child's trust in the mother or caregiver will increase and he/she will feel safe."
Underlining that this period is a critical period in terms of socialization and individualization of the child, Sayım notes that this is also the period when the child gains toilet training. Sayım warns parents that it is necessary to be patient and wait for the child to be ready for toilet training in this period, as in all developmental periods. Sayım reminds that the signals from the child should be followed well.
THE CHILD GIVES SIGNALS WHEN THE TOILET COMES
"If the child is ready for toilet training, he/she gives signals. He/she urinates and defecates in hidden corners and starts to say that he/she has to go to the toilet. If the child feels ready, then it is necessary to take him/her to the toilet and use positive reinforcement. Like saying well done, rewarding."
Emphasizing that rewarding is important in toilet training, Sayım warns against pressure.
PRESSURE IN TOILET TRAINING CAN LEAD THE CHILD TO DEPRESSION
"If the parents rush and put pressure on the child before the child is ready or in the early period, the child may get stuck in this period and some problems may arise in the future. This period is 3 years old. It may be necessary to wait until age 3. Using punishment, beating, threatening to burn, threatening to scare the child because the child has wet or soiled his/her diaper, will only stiffen the child. These wrong attitudes cause the child to become timid, uninitiative and insecure. And the child perceives such punishments as harming the integrity of his/her body, does not trust people, and is afraid of being harmed at any time. He becomes an anxious person with high anxiety. This can lead to other behavioral problems. Bedwetting and poop incontinence may be permanent. Problems such as stuttering, aggressiveness, adaptation difficulties, social phobia may accompany the picture, and depression may develop in the child."
Sayım states that if the child's development is behind the expected level, the acquisition of toilet training may be delayed until later periods. Stating that the toilet training period is a critical period, Uzm. Psk. Aynur Sayım says that parents should act consciously during this period.
BEING PROTECTIVE OF THE CHILD WHO GIVES SIGNALS PREVENTS EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
"We can also see that there are mothers who act protectively even when the child gives a signal, for example, saying that it is winter now, it is cold, we have left it for summer. This attitude negatively affects the emotional development of the child because it is an overprotective-caring attitude. The child who is exposed to this attitude is likely to experience it in everything. In other words, if the child is not given responsibility, if the child is not supported and protected for self-care, the child cannot grow emotionally and remains small."