Harassment and sexual abuse cause great trauma and loss of trust in children, which they will carry throughout their lives.
Stating that children have difficulty in explaining and expressing the abuse they have experienced, experts warn families to pay attention to the changes in their behavior.
Specialist Clinical Psychologist Duygu Barlas from Üsküdar University NPISTANBUL Hospital stated that the child who is sexually abused is threatened against his physical and psychological integrity and that this threat causes a considerable trauma in the child.
PAY ATTENTION TO CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR!
Stating that the first thing to do in the process after the detection of sexual abuse is to restore the physical safety of the child and take him under protection, Barlas stated that the child who has been harassed or sexually abused gives both physical and psychological reactions and listed the reactions as follows:
"Sleep disorders, defiance against parents, sudden and impulsive behavior, appetite problems are common problems. In addition to these problems, there are clear clues especially in understanding sexual abuse.
The child's showing more interest in sexual matters than his/her age, engaging in sexual behaviors that are incompatible with his/her age and talking are among these symptoms. In addition, frequent touching of the genital area, the need to show private parts, excessive kissing of the mother and father or someone else, and excessive desire to touch them can also be counted among these clues.
Examples include the child's bedwetting day and night, having conflicts with school and peers, having frequent nightmares at night, describing his/her body as dirty or damaged. In addition, children who have been sexually abused often have clues about the situation they have experienced in the pictures they draw, the games they play or their dreams."
EACH CHILD REACTS DIFFERENTLY
Pointing out that the presence of all these conditions does not mean 100% that the child has been abused, Barlas said, "Symptoms may differ from child to child. While one child may become withdrawn, cry and complain about his/her body, another child may become more angry and aggressive than before. Instead of distinguishing between boy or girl symptoms, the change in the child's usual behavior is the biggest determinant. At this point, it is important for mothers and fathers to observe whether the child has shown behavior out of the usual state."
THE CHILD SHOULD BE TAKEN UNDER PROTECTION
"A child who has been sexually abused is threatened against his/her physical and psychological integrity," Barlas said, and gave the following warnings:
"This threat can cause a considerable trauma to the child. In the process after the sexual abuse is detected, the child should be listened to without being judged after ensuring the child's physical safety again and taking him/her under protection. If the child has disclosed this to a teacher, the teacher should report this to the necessary authorities and the family. If the child has disclosed this situation to his/her family, the family is also obliged to report this situation to the necessary places. Because sexual abuse is a crime and must be reported to the necessary places."
THE CHILD SHOULD BE HEARD WITHOUT JUDGMENT!
Stating that the people around the child are the ones who will provide the most support to the child in overcoming the trauma, Barlas said, "Therefore, these people should listen to the child in a non-judgmental manner and provide the child with a protected and safe space again. Sentences such as "sin, shame, we need to hide it" should never be made to the child, and it should be conveyed that the child will always be supported. However, care should be taken to ensure that this protection is not excessive. The child should not be removed from his/her social environment and school. This trust and protection should be provided without isolating the child from the outside world."
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT PERSON SHOULD BE CUT OFF
Emphasizing that the child's relationship with the abused person must be cut off, Barlas made the following recommendations:
"The child should be informed that that person can no longer harm him/her. Because the biggest deficiency of an abused child is not feeling safe. Families should be aware that the child may have trouble sleeping, appetite and regulating his/her emotions for a while, and they should not expect the child to return to his/her old order immediately. The child should be approached with understanding and should not be pressured to return to his/her old order quickly. Families may also experience feelings of anger and guilt from time to time due to sexual abuse. Thoughts such as "We could not prevent it, it is our fault, we could not protect" can be seen frequently. Such thoughts may increase anger and guilt, and this may be reflected on the child. At this point, parents should regulate their emotions as much as possible and not blame themselves. However, most of the time, families and children cannot overcome these situations on their own, they may need support."
PROFESSIONAL HELP SHOULD BE SOUGHT
Stating that trauma treatment is a special treatment, Duygu Barlas said, "At this point, it may be necessary for the child to seek professional help. If sexual abuse and related traumas are not treated, scars can be seen in adulthood. Disruptions in sexual identity development, chronic depression, personality disorders, insufficiently healthy relationships, and problems with the opposite sex may occur. It may cause disruptions not only in adulthood but also in the child's current life. Impaired attention functions, intermittent outbursts of anger, severe forgetfulness, withdrawal from school and friends, and decreased communication with family can be observed. Such situations are inevitable when trauma is not resolved and treated."